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DODmister
19:38:11 Sat
May 7 2005

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How do you know if your a sportster or a Tradster -sporster test-


How do you know if your a sport climber or a trad climber?, you can test it out. do you fit the profile?

You know your a sport climber when:

you wear thongs to the crag, your lunch is bigger than
your rack, you climb with music playing out of your
car, you climb with sunglasses on, you have climbed
without a T-shirt, you call your climbing mates
"dude", when anything more than five minutes away from
the car is crap, you climb with a hangover, you can't
get to the crag before 10:30am, you seige a route, you
seige the cafe when it rains, you suffer a repedetive
use injury, you swear loudly and excessively when you get spat off, you wear velcro closure climbing shoes,
you wear Prana clothing or other brand names, you
refer to climbs by grade and not by name, you've used quickdraws instead of a sling to equalise a hanging belay on a multipitch climb, you are addicted to dipping your hands into your chalk bag to "de pump", you have a name for your grigri, you like to "tick up holds" with chalk, you've had a "cold pump", you've had a "flash pump", you don't
understand why flake crack hasn't been bolted, you
hate bushwalking, you classify carrot bolt climbs as
trad, you hate chimneys, cracks and call trad climbers
grey bearders, you think aid climbing is gay, you take sun tan cream to the crag,
you think Piddington is a place in medieval europe,
you know what a key lock is, you have a "nowra rope"
that is less than 30m long, you have bought fast food
from the shop and eaten it at the crag, you have
bought climbing shoes and taken them out of the box at
the crag, you hate slabs, you don't know where the wolgans are and you
don't care, your climbing gear has permanent residency
in your car, you have a slackline and you play haki
sak.

  
Cragx
08:49:04 Sun
May 8 2005

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Re: How do you know if your a sportster or a Tradster -sporster test-

The last time I saw my maki it was sailing over the edge at upper shipley, so if any grey bearded tradster finds it down at lower shipley, can you give it back?

  
burroughs
08:51:40 Sun
May 8 2005

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Re: How do you know if your a sportster or a Tradster -sporster test-

Your an idiot! No wonder we have such a bad reputation amongst other users!

  
DODmister
13:13:19 Sun
May 8 2005

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Re: How do you know if your a sportster or a Tradster -sporster test-

Ok, obviously not happy with my stereotype. would this make you feel better??

you know your a trad climber when:

all your draws are 12” long • your kid climbs harder than you do • you’ve worn out a set of cams • there is scar tissue on the back of your hands • you shave the back of your hands • you have six partially used rolls of tape in your pack • you quit sport climbing because you can’t do any of the routes • you see lots of sunrises on your climbing trips • you say, “what?” when your leader says, “take!” • your ledge is set up in your room to hold all your climbing gear • you have climbing shoes you can wear all day • you don’t care when your gym membership expires • you enjoy guilt-free eating • you don’t know what your body-fat % is • you ask your partner how much water to bring along • you do a first ascent and report the names of both members in your party • you drop your belay device and you still know how to belay • you read back-issues or mountain gazette • you know how to turn a crack ‘n up into a beak • you know what a beak is • you wake up at 2:00am to go climbing • your drill uses a hammer • you take a nap in the middle of a climb • you spend three hours removing a fixed cam • you don’t want beta • you think a bong is a type of piton • you remember when climbing gear didn’t have springs • you take a forty footer • you summit a desert tower • you know what an abalakov hook is • you still use a gear sling • there is a holster on your harness • you rappel six pitches in the dark • you rappel six pitches in the snow • you drill from a stance • you’re looking down at the birds • you own a hammer and a haul bag • you have sex on a belay ledge • you’re on day 2 of a sport climbing trip and you can’t remember what you did on day 1 • you drop your water bottle and it takes five seconds to hit • your rack is worth more than your car • your best memories are from the epics you’ve had • you have a great day of climbing then find out you didn’t do the route you thought you did • you spend a night hanging in slings • you miss work on monday because you epic’d on sunday • a whole block of chalk fits in your chalk bag • you dump your S.O. because he just doesn’t get it • you wear out a set of jugs • you drive all night so you can climb all day • you drive all night because you climbed all day • you’re up so high the trees look like broccoli • your rack of pins is heavier than your rack of draws • your slings have knots in them • you know who larry penberthy is • you know the difference between a copperhead and a circlehead • you think “beta” is a video tape format • you can shit and and belay at the same time • you wear socks in your climbing shoes • a long approach doesn’t deter you from a good climb • a good job doesn’t deter you from a good climb • Hendrix runs through your head while you’re climbing • you coil your rope • you’ve set up a belay with the only piece of gear left on your rack • your climbing pants don’t stretch •

by the way, this thread now has a new challenge for all the intellectual giants, all reply's have to constitute more than 2 sentences!


  
Goodvibes
00:50:30 Mon
May 9 2005

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Re: How do you know if your a sportster or a Tradster -sporster test-

I guess since I leant a mate my cams about 12 months ago and still haven't got them back I would probably fit into the first category. It has been quite a while since I roped up outside of The Glen, are there any other crags in the Blueys? It has been even longer since i heard the chiming of my hexes as i bumble my way up some wide choss horror.

No need for sunscreen though DODmister, a true sport climber would always be chasing the shade for ideal sending conditions. Nothing like sitting over at Wave Wall in the winter in sub zero temps laughing at all the clowns in the sun, spooging off everything at Shipley while resting between shots on your new uber hard link up.

Fu#4 the slacklining and hacki though.

  
Cragx
01:18:52 Mon
May 9 2005

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Re: How do you know if your a sportster or a Tradster -sporster test-

Its a joke mitch, chill my friend, ive never played Hacki at shipley.......

  
DODmister
13:43:39 Mon
May 9 2005

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Re: How do you know if your a sportster or a Tradster -sporster test-

DUDE,

the greybearders probably kept your haki as a chimney chock.

it probably now has a piece of 6mm threaded through it.

  
adski
15:02:42 Mon
May 9 2005

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Re: How do you know if your a sportster or a Tradster -sporster test-

Geez Dod I sure hope you're baiting us with the Wolgans shit. When Nordic exchange students call it the Volgan Walley it makes me smile. When people who should know better say "The Wolgans" it gets me all haughty taughty. You guys are baiting me for sure!! If so, i'm going to bite.

It all started for me when a young keen eyed bumbly found out I was a bit of a Wolgan Valley addict and tried to bond with me by (mis)pronouncing "I love the Wolgans."

Like the fact there's only one Arapiles, there's only *one* Wolgan Valley! It's not The Arapiles and The Wolgans, it's SINGULAR you incompetent neanderthals!!! They're not mountain ranges, like Highlander THERE CAN BE ONLY ONE.

Now do a Bart Simpson and write on the board with me:

The Wolgan is great and so is Arapiles
The Wolgan is great and so is Arapiles
The Wolgan is great and so is Arapiles
The Wolgan is great and so is Arapiles
The Wolgan is great and so is Arapiles
The Wolgan is great and so is Arapiles

It's the little things...

  
krankedjj
00:49:00 Tue
May 10 2005

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Re: How do you know if your a sportster or a Tradster -sporster test-

Oh Geez Adski,

you either need a coffee or you've had too much :tongue:

  
mikepatt
01:25:52 Tue
May 10 2005

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Re: How do you know if your a sportster or a Tradster -sporster test-


Quote: Like the fact there's only one Arapiles, there's only *one* Wolgan Valley!



urm.. I suppose we'll have to call it Arapile then.

Climbs often mispronounce stuff.. like "The BungleS" as in Warrumbungles, which should be Warrumbungle, singular, but it wouldn't sound as good going to "the Bungle"...

And by the way, isn't the Wolgan/s just a small sports crag on the way to the Bungles ???

  
thesimplepilot
10:23:05 Wed
May 11 2005

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Re: How do you know if your a sportster or a Tradster -sporster test-

adski is absolutely correct and well within his rights. without constant vigilance who knows how fast and how far society will fall.

were the "other users" that burroughs was talking about mean 'other rock users'? that would mean abseillers or sport rappers, doesn't it? if so, that's a funny concept. what's the definition of irony?

  
Goodvibes
23:02:38 Wed
May 11 2005

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Re: How do you know if your a sportster or a Tradster -sporster test-

First up, as Adski stated, it is caled the Wolgan Valley, hence "The Wolgan", Mt Arapiles is called Mount Arapiles, the "s" is part of the name i.e. it is not added to make it plural.

Secondly, if you have ever climbed anywhere around Shipley and The Glen the "other users" Mitch was referring to are the multitudes of bushwalkers that utilise the same area. The same bushwalkers that have and can complain about climbers.

Get it right people, otherwise there will be trouble alright, trouble for you. :lol:

[1 edits; Last edit by Goodvibes at 23:03:58 Wed May 11 2005]

  
Take
00:31:25 Thu
May 12 2005

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Re: How do you know if your a sportster or a Tradster -sporster test-

[you think “beta” is a video tape format ]...

It was.
Although a sportclimbing term, beta (as in climbing beta) got its name from the betamax video format.



I'll get my anorak...

  
mikepatt
01:23:40 Thu
May 12 2005

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Re: How do you know if your a sportster or a Tradster -sporster test-

The Arapile/s joke was my attempt at ironic humour.. if I make a similar joke again I'll mutter it quitely in case I'm overheard by bushwalkers or others who may be offended.

Trivia question; John Wolgan; who was he?

  
Goodvibes
01:38:40 Thu
May 12 2005

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Re: How do you know if your a sportster or a Tradster -sporster test-

Exactly Mike, this is no place for fooling around. Sorry mate, guess I am just a bit numb from cruching numbers all day.

Fu#$ed if I can find anything on John Wolgan though.

  
Take
02:05:06 Thu
May 12 2005

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Re: How do you know if your a sportster or a Tradster -sporster test-

You are looking under the wrong name, its 'Wolgans'

The Wolgans family decided to change their name to Wolgan after they they sent John Wolgans (junior) to school where he learnt about plurals and the singular. He realised they are only one family and don't need the 's'.
They henceforth became known as the 'Wolgan' family causing much confusion to the births/deaths and Marraiges office - along with many climbers.
John Wolgan (junior) took over the family's sheep farm but unfortunately couldn't come to terms with the fact that the plural of sheep is simply sheep so he slaughtered all but one of his herd in a frustrated rage. The family were soon evicted from their valley farm and John Wolgan (junior) killed himself. There is a legend that you can hear the ghost of John (junior) lamenting the plural as the wind noisely hisses through the trees in the Wolgan valley "ssss" "ssss".

  
mikepatt
02:32:13 Thu
May 12 2005

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Re: How do you know if your a sportster or a Tradster -sporster test-

read yr guidebook (Wade's) It's in there..

  
Goodvibes
03:01:53 Thu
May 12 2005

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Re: How do you know if your a sportster or a Tradster -sporster test-

Ha ha, great stuff Take.

  
Nick_Kaz
04:37:27 Thu
May 12 2005

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Re: How do you know if your a sportster or a Tradster -sporster test-

Oh dear DOD your funny litle thread has become a wolgan discussion :sad:, can you think of anything worse?:tongue:

John Wolgan: An "alternative lifestyle" character, lived in the valley in a tent and worked in the pub, aparantly newnes was a good place to go to drop out of society.

  
DODmister
15:25:24 Sun
May 15 2005

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Re: How do you know if your a sportster or a Tradster -sporster test-

SSSSSSSSSTOP crapping up my sport climbing dig with wolgan garbage.

lets talk about who Mr Shippley was (or is) and who Mr Porter was or who Mr Brae was.

these people obviously had steely resolve..........get it......stainless steel......ring bolts.........back to the topic!!!.

anyhow enough wolgan crap. I'm already seeing choss mounds and long walk ins, in between my blinking.

  
Steve_M
02:58:15 Mon
May 16 2005

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Re: How do you know if your a sportster or a Tradster -sporster test-

Good old John Wolgan, didn't he have a lisp. That's started all this wolgan(th) confusion isn't it.

Just got back from the arapile, things were so much simpler in the pines.

  
thesimplepilot
09:01:08 Tue
May 17 2005

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Re: How do you know if your a sportster or a Tradster -sporster test-

do these "other users" ever go to the wolgans?

  
mikepatt
21:41:50 Tue
May 17 2005

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Re: How do you know if your a sportster or a Tradster -sporster test-

yes, but they tend to call it Newnes...

  
mikepatt
04:08:17 Wed
May 18 2005

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Re: How do you know if your a sportster or a Tradster -sporster test-

Simple test; work out the average height of all your climbs (simple if you use thecrag.com)

If your average climb height is less than 30 you're a sports climber, if over 30m you're either trad or getting on a bit...

  
Goodvibes
22:36:31 Wed
May 18 2005

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Re: How do you know if your a sportster or a Tradster -sporster test-

Not bad Mike, 21.6m for me, surprised it is that high really. No points for guessing where I fit in. Maybe I should head back out to the WolganS and get a bit more milage in, once I have ticked The Glen that is. :biggrin:

  

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