Nov 16 2004
Like I said most of the time we respect each others toys but there are periods when he freaks over the money I'm spending and tells me not to buy any more lanterns. Usually not long after he tells me that he'll go off and spend money on something ridiculous and I'll respond by getting another lantern or something else for my collection. Currently I have various toys stored around the property that he dosen't know I have and they will conveniently appear soon after a boat or some other toy follows him home. He dosen't really pay enough attention to my collection to know for sure what was there from one day to the next so I can play this game very effectively.
However all of this is very unhealthy and I know it. Making matters worse is the kids are aware of what we're doing. Their reactions range from amused to being rather annoyed by the insanity of it all. I don't really have a good way of getting out of the games, but I'm not willing to give up my collection why he goes about spending on his toys. If anyone can offer a way out of this trap it would be very appreciated.
Nov 16 2004
That being said one of my biggest regrets is that I gave into him time and time again on the whole money issue. It just seemed like every time we got in too deep something would happen and we would be ok again for a while. Now that he's gone, not paying support and I am forced into working full time, never getting to spend time with my kids, I deeply regret many of the items I agreed to. Like your spouse, mine would stay out of it except to occasionally freak out when he would catch a glimse of the phone bill or credit card statement.
My suggestion would be to sit down together every payday and go through all the bills together. Then the decision isn't wholly yours and he cannot blame you for everything. You have to make him take responsibility because it is unlikely he will volunteer. And, you are going to have to be grown up about it too. You might have to give up a thing or two of your own. Sucks, I know!
Nov 18 2004