Fear
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soulpurge 17:10:15 Thu Mar 24 2005

Fear My friend has pushed me out of his life, again, because he says I have harmed him through what I believe in my heart has been an effort to help him heal. Its easy to see his anger but much harder to appreciate the fear that is giving life to it because he is so mad. I'm curious if members of this panel had an awareness of their fear before they entered therapy and how it felt to have this fear? I guess what I'm asking in my indirect way is how did your fear come out in terms of your interactions with others who might have been important in your life? Has there been a dramatic change in how you felt fear before you started therapy compared to where you are now?

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taransmith 16:03:03 Fri Mar 25 2005

Re: Fear I had little or no awareness of my fears prior to entering therapy. It seems to me NPD is about building walls or a defense system which prevents us from having to feel these kinds of things and I did a pretty good job in this regard. If I felt fear at all I usually avoided it or it came out in the form of anger, maybe rage lashing out at people who simply had the misfortune of being around me. To a certain degree I can see that fear now, but its still kind of hard for me to say how the fear materialized in my every day life. Maybe in time this will be easier for me to see? Today I have more awareness of what I guess is fear. It still comes out in anger sometimes but I'm getting better of being able to get past the anger and see what else is happening. It usually takes me a while for that happen. Say if I'm feeling fear it could be anywhere from a couple of days , or weeks before I can say that I'm more afraid of something then I am angry. So my ability to deal with fear is not great. Perhaps other members of the panel can be of more help.

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Fear
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