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human beings online in the last 15 minutes - 0 Friend(s) of Narcissus, 0 covert NPDers and 0 Beloved and cherished GUEST(s) of Narcissus. (Most ever was 72 at 03:16:23 Wed Dec 4 2013)|
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Re: 1,000 positive stepping stones on the path to healing ( 03:55:15 ThuNov 6 2003 ) |
Hey, it's Hestia, trouble logging in, due not to any network problems but simple fatigue.
Got mad at my spouse today. He emailed 30+ people to ask for prayer because we're separated. He sent the email in both of our names. It seemed like such a blatant need for attention. It pissed me off. He said well you email people and I said, yeah, six of my closest friends, not people in the administration where we went to school or people we are loosely connected with professionally.
We left each other angry. I came in the house and thought about this board. What he did seemed manipulative and self- centered. But my thought about this board and the folks here made me ask myself some questions, too. I've coped with emailing 6 close friends-- he doesn't have close friends, just the kind of folks he emailed. And even if this all ends in divorce, which I'm pretty sure it will, and the 30+ people he emailed take his "side", what does that really cost me, other than some embarrassment. The six friends I have who have already been with me to hell and back are still going to be there for me; I am the only real friend he has, and he's losing me, and none of the tricks in his bag that have always worked before are working any more. He must feel confused and terrified. So I called him and told him I forgave him, but to please not send out any more emails with my name on them without my permission. And to try and keep private things private. He thanked me and said, "You have been so good to me even though we're separated, I just can't believe it." This board is helping me do that, to treat him with dignity and respect. I think this all is a positive step in my healing.
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