"Out beyond ideas of right-doing and wrong-doing there is a field. I'll meet you there." ----- Jalal ad-Din Muhammad Balkhi-Rumi, 13th century Sufi poet.

"Have faith that people do their best. I don't know anyone who would eat with pigs out of a trough in a muddy barnyard if he knew that a well-prepared meal was on the table in a clean house - do you?" Greg Baer

"The Secret in healing Narcissism is not to heal it at all, but to listen to it. Narcissism is a signal that the soul is not being loved sufficiently. The greater the Narcissism, the less love being given." ~ Thomas Moore, 'Care of the Soul'.

Q. Is it really possible to heal NPD?

A. Anything is possible. You do not have to be a negative statistic on a probablity curve of people with Narcissistic Personality Disorder

Heal NPD :: Open Topic :: 1,000 positive stepping stones on the path to healing
Who's Online | Stats | Memberlist | Chatroom | Search | Lost Password |


Shout Box

"


Welcome, Register :: Log In 
Friends of Narcissus active in this forum:
Friends of Narcissus active in this thread:

human beings online in the last 15 minutes - 0 Friend(s) of Narcissus, 0 covert NPDers and 0 Beloved and cherished GUEST(s) of Narcissus. (Most ever was 72 at 03:16:23 Wed Dec 4 2013)

Pages: [ 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 35 36 37 38 39 40 41 42 43 44 45 46 47 48 49 50 51 52 53 54 55 56 57 58 59 60 61 62 63 64 65 66 67 68 69 70 71 72 73 74 75 76 77 78 79 80 81 82 83 84 85 86 87 88 89 90 91 92 93 94 95 96 97 98 99 100 101 102 103 104 105 106 107 108 109 110 111 112 113 114 115 116 117 118 119 120 121 122 123 124 ]

[ < ] [ > ]

Balbrenny
Offline
444 posts



Mood Now: Optimistic
Post Mood: Optimistic

Reply
Re: 1,000 positive stepping stones on the path to healing ( 12:16:33 MonDec 22 2003 )

Way to go, Friendly!!

My eldest son actually did something the first time he was asked!! Then some friends were going swimming at a local rock pool and asked him to go. I said that I thought he should come Chrissie shopping with his brother and me - and he did without any arguments - he was cheerful and happy to come!!

His brother was so surprised at the change in his attitude that he asked me if the sea had frozen over. :biggrin:

  
Mood:Mood Now: Optimistic ( Optimistic ) Post Mood: Optimistic ( Optimistic )
melaniemac
Offline
627 posts
Host
Human


Mood Now: Peaceful
Post Mood: Loving

Reply
Re: 1,000 positive stepping stones on the path to healing ( 16:14:53 MonDec 22 2003 )

I did something on the weekend that in another life, I would never have done, and is something I am not especially proud of. However, rather than beating myself up about it and having huge anxiety pains about the "what if's", I am very calm and peaceful about it. I gave myself permission to forgive myself and just deal with the consequences (if any) as they happen. And to see it as just something that happened. Not something "good" or "bad". Just something.

I am starting to find the peace I am desparately looking for.

CONGRATULATIONS FRIENDLY!!!

Mel

  
Mood:Mood Now: Peaceful ( Peaceful ) Post Mood: Loving ( Loving )
TcBrown
Offline
2954 posts



Cyber Healing PhD
Eat your heart out
Pacific Western



Mood Now: Bruised
Post Mood: Noble

Reply
Re: 1,000 positive stepping stones on the path to healing ( 18:33:42 MonDec 22 2003 )

Okay Mel, you have my curiousity raised to peak levels. :evillaugh: If you tell me I'll tell you a secret about me. :newtonguesmile:

I survived a weekend of entertaning two 14 year old boys. It was an adventure let's just leave it at that. :popupnarcissist: The most important thing is I'm still standing, just barely.

Also with school out the next 3 weeks will be very calm for me. Plus my boss is out of town for most of that time so I have no adult supervision. :cookiemonster:



---
You do not need to be loved, not at the cost of yourself. The single relationship that is truly central and crucial in a life is the relationship to the self . .. Of all the people you will know in a lifetime , you are the only one you will never lose.

~ Jo Courdt

 
 
Mood:Mood Now: Bruised ( Bruised ) Post Mood: Noble ( Noble )
jimmie
Unavailable
571 posts




Mood Now: Headphone_Heaven
Post Mood: Loser

Reply
Re: 1,000 positive stepping stones on the path to healing ( 23:28:34 MonDec 22 2003 )

I had a relatively calm weekend, all things considered. The crisis of last week has served to test everyone in my family about our committment to healing and I believe remind each of us what is important. I know it did for me.

Friendly, I have increased appreciation for where you're at. Keep it up!

  
Mood:Mood Now: Headphone_Heaven ( Headphone_Heaven ) Post Mood: Loser ( Loser )
Balbrenny
Offline
444 posts



Mood Now: Optimistic
Post Mood: Optimistic

Reply
Re: 1,000 positive stepping stones on the path to healing ( 01:40:28 TueDec 23 2003 )

The change in behaviour of my eldest son continues. He has done everything I asked him to this morning and even gave his brother a piece of chocolate!!

I am starting to wonder whether the new biofeedback therapy is having an effect, although it is early days yet. If this continues, it would be the best Christmas present ever.

  
Mood:Mood Now: Optimistic ( Optimistic ) Post Mood: Optimistic ( Optimistic )
hestia
Offline
423 posts


Mood Now: Reading
Post Mood: Reading

Reply
Re: 1,000 positive stepping stones on the path to healing ( 14:23:41 TueDec 23 2003 )

Good news, all! I'm with you, Friendly. Is Christmas this week? How'd that happen? If it weren't for the countdown on this board, it might have passed me by. Congratulations on staying clean! I hope you have a good support system to pay you on the back for all of us!

Mel, I was telling a friend last night that I have a double standard-- I expect myself to live up to a higher standard than everyone else in the world. If other people make mistakes, even whoppers, I feel compassion, like, "Oh, well, we're all just human beings." If I make a mistake, I am very hard on myself. My friend said, "You know, for most people, it's the other way around!" As the Nina Brown book says, this is one of the issues f/f tend to have, and it works to collaborate the narcissitic tendencies of others. So I'm glad you're being gentle with yourself, and want to remind you that being compassionate with yourself is a huge step in your healing!!! I believe in God, though I'm pretty liberal in most my beliefs, but one thing that has helped me is to remember that if I believe in a Creator, then I also should accept that I'm just a creature. That opinion works just as well for someone who doesn't believe in God, actually. We are all just critters.

Ok, blah blah blah. Here's my positive. My husband and his mother are coming over on Christmas day. I got down that I'll be spending Christmas Eve alone with Sam. But before I got depressed, I realized that due to my husband's job and his level of fatigue around the holidays, I've spent every Christmas Eve of my marriage alone anyway. (Christmas Eve was the biggie in my family.) So I thought, "Geesh, maybe it's time to just accept this reality and create my own traditions for Christmas Eve." I plan cook Christmas cookies for Santa with my son's help, to have a fun, non-traditional dinner of whatever my son wants (my guess is it will be pizza), then go to church somewhere really different (I'm thinking Episcopal), come home, try and settle my little guy down for bed (I'm guessing it will be a late one!), and go to sleep in a spirit of gratitude. With any luck, it'll work. If it doesn't then my positive is to give my self permission to be blue.

  
Mood:Mood Now: Reading ( Reading ) Post Mood: Reading ( Reading )
melaniemac
Offline
627 posts
Host
Human


Mood Now: Peaceful
Post Mood: Loving

Reply
Re: 1,000 positive stepping stones on the path to healing ( 14:58:00 TueDec 23 2003 )

I'm so in agreement with you Hestia. We are all just part of God's creation and can only do the best we can. But we can make and effort to continue to do better! I am anxiously awaiting my Nina Brown book. Wrong time of year to use mail order!

Anyway, my positive for today is that I found out from my kids that my EX-husband (getting myself used to saying that), had the boys spend the night at his "not my girlfriend" girlfriends' house and I DIDN'T FREAK OUT! I just accepted it. There is absolutely nothing I can do to change it so why stress about it. I didn't give the kids the third degree about any of it. I am slowly getting better!

The other positive is that my EX-husband had supper at his sisters house. He hasn't spoken to her in several years so perhaps he is starting to heal a little as well. I guess I'm just going to have to accept the fact that his future does not include me. And that's OK. I'll be just fine!

Balbrenny, I am very happy for you about your sons continued positive behaviour. I hope it continues!


Have a great day!

Mel

  
Mood:Mood Now: Peaceful ( Peaceful ) Post Mood: Loving ( Loving )
weissfamily
Offline
446 posts



Mood Now: Rocking
Post Mood: Loopy

Reply
Re: 1,000 positive stepping stones on the path to healing ( 19:40:54 TueDec 23 2003 )

Congratulations Friendly!

Balbrenny it sounds promising that the biofeedback really is making a positive change in your son's life. That's got to feel good.

Last night, for the first time I can ever recall in my life, I roasted chesnuts on an open fire. Its something everyone should do once in their lifetime. I feel like my life is more complete somehow. Of course the spiked eggnog contributed to their feeling as well. :demon:


  
Mood:Mood Now: Rocking ( Rocking ) Post Mood: Loopy ( Loopy )
Balbrenny
Offline
444 posts



Mood Now: Optimistic
Post Mood: Optimistic

Reply
Re: 1,000 positive stepping stones on the path to healing ( 14:01:59 WedDec 24 2003 )

MERRY CHRISTMAS, EVERYBODY!!

My sons and I stayed up to midnight and wished each other a happy Christmas and started opening pressies. The good time lasted for 5 minutes until my eldest son let off a party popper in his younger brother's face and called him a f**kwit. But at least there were 5 minutes of good times.

This is a major positive compared to last year.

We're all going to bed now and I'm looking forward to a great Christmas Day!!

I hope that you all have a fantastic day

love to you all

Linda

  
Mood:Mood Now: Optimistic ( Optimistic ) Post Mood: Optimistic ( Optimistic )
taransmith
Offline
689 posts



In Recovery


Mood Now: Mischievous
Post Mood: Lost

Reply
Re: 1,000 positive stepping stones on the path to healing ( 18:01:07 WedDec 24 2003 )

Merry Christmas, everyone. A truckload of relatives just pulled up to our house and i received enough hugs to last me a few days. I was busy the last couple ofd days (just started my shopping) so I haven't kept up as well as I should. I hope everyone is doing well.

  
Mood:Mood Now: Mischievous ( Mischievous ) Post Mood: Lost ( Lost )

Pages: [ 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 35 36 37 38 39 40 41 42 43 44 45 46 47 48 49 50 51 52 53 54 55 56 57 58 59 60 61 62 63 64 65 66 67 68 69 70 71 72 73 74 75 76 77 78 79 80 81 82 83 84 85 86 87 88 89 90 91 92 93 94 95 96 97 98 99 100 101 102 103 104 105 106 107 108 109 110 111 112 113 114 115 116 117 118 119 120 121 122 123 124 ]

[ < ] [ > ]

 
  • Can't start a new thread. (Host Only)
  • Can't start a new poll. (Host Only)
  • Can't add a reply. (Host Only)
  • Can't edit your posts.(Everyone Registered)Total Friends of Narcissus: 4110

  • Can't start a new thread. (Host Only)
  • Can't start a new poll. (Host Only)
  • Can't add a reply. (Host Only)
  • Can't edit your posts.(Everyone Registered)
  • Register :: Log In :: Steering Committee

    The time is now 13:32:23 Mon Oct 23 2017

    Powered By BbBoard V1.4.2
    © 2001-2007 BbBoy.net

    Community created
    3.10.2003


    The Healing Narcissism And Disorders of the Self Community is not affiliated in any way with any mental health professional or agency. The advice given is from personal experience and should never be used as a replacement for therapy from a qualified licensed professional. If you are having a real life emergency and live in the United States please call your doctor or 9-1-1.