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human beings online in the last 15 minutes - 0 Friend(s) of Narcissus, 0 covert NPDers and 0 Beloved and cherished GUEST(s) of Narcissus. (Most ever was 72 at 03:16:23 Wed Dec 4 2013)|
Re: 1,000 positive stepping stones on the path to healing ( 14:23:41 TueDec 23 2003 ) |
Good news, all! I'm with you, Friendly. Is Christmas this week? How'd that happen? If it weren't for the countdown on this board, it might have passed me by. Congratulations on staying clean! I hope you have a good support system to pay you on the back for all of us!
Mel, I was telling a friend last night that I have a double standard-- I expect myself to live up to a higher standard than everyone else in the world. If other people make mistakes, even whoppers, I feel compassion, like, "Oh, well, we're all just human beings." If I make a mistake, I am very hard on myself. My friend said, "You know, for most people, it's the other way around!" As the Nina Brown book says, this is one of the issues f/f tend to have, and it works to collaborate the narcissitic tendencies of others. So I'm glad you're being gentle with yourself, and want to remind you that being compassionate with yourself is a huge step in your healing!!! I believe in God, though I'm pretty liberal in most my beliefs, but one thing that has helped me is to remember that if I believe in a Creator, then I also should accept that I'm just a creature. That opinion works just as well for someone who doesn't believe in God, actually. We are all just critters.
Ok, blah blah blah. Here's my positive. My husband and his mother are coming over on Christmas day. I got down that I'll be spending Christmas Eve alone with Sam. But before I got depressed, I realized that due to my husband's job and his level of fatigue around the holidays, I've spent every Christmas Eve of my marriage alone anyway. (Christmas Eve was the biggie in my family.) So I thought, "Geesh, maybe it's time to just accept this reality and create my own traditions for Christmas Eve." I plan cook Christmas cookies for Santa with my son's help, to have a fun, non-traditional dinner of whatever my son wants (my guess is it will be pizza), then go to church somewhere really different (I'm thinking Episcopal), come home, try and settle my little guy down for bed (I'm guessing it will be a late one!), and go to sleep in a spirit of gratitude. With any luck, it'll work. If it doesn't then my positive is to give my self permission to be blue.
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