"Out beyond ideas of right-doing and wrong-doing there is a field. I'll meet you there." ----- Jalal ad-Din Muhammad Balkhi-Rumi, 13th century Sufi poet.

"Have faith that people do their best. I don't know anyone who would eat with pigs out of a trough in a muddy barnyard if he knew that a well-prepared meal was on the table in a clean house - do you?" Greg Baer

"The Secret in healing Narcissism is not to heal it at all, but to listen to it. Narcissism is a signal that the soul is not being loved sufficiently. The greater the Narcissism, the less love being given." ~ Thomas Moore, 'Care of the Soul'.

Q. Is it really possible to heal NPD?

A. Anything is possible. You do not have to be a negative statistic on a probablity curve of people with Narcissistic Personality Disorder

Heal NPD :: Open Topic :: 1,000 positive stepping stones on the path to healing
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melaniemac
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Re: 1,000 positive stepping stones on the path to healing ( 15:39:22 FriJan 23 2004 )

Sounds like everyone is moving along just great these days!

I had my first meeting with my lawyer yesterday. We are going to draft a letter to my ex inviting him to the negotiation table (They call it collaborative law, you and your lawyer, your spouse and their lawyer all sit in the SAME ROOM and discuss things). If he says yes then YEAH, if he says no, then we draft a petition to the court. Either way, the ball is rolling!

Have a great Friday!

Mel

  
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TcBrown
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Re: 1,000 positive stepping stones on the path to healing ( 09:50:15 SatJan 24 2004 )

Mel, I'm glad the ball is rolling. I know someone who works in collobrative law and it she believes it to be far more effective than the tradiitional courts. I hope you can avoid an all out battle.

Its snowing here, again and we are looking at another week of sub-freezing temps. :cry: I really need to find some emoticons for a pity party. I might be kind of groutchy as I try and keep from freezing my inners, but I'll try to start positive. Enough whinning for one post. My positive is that I managed to stay focused on a boring as hell project yesterday and get it done so I have the weekend and most of next week to myself. :cookiemonster:



---
You do not need to be loved, not at the cost of yourself. The single relationship that is truly central and crucial in a life is the relationship to the self . .. Of all the people you will know in a lifetime , you are the only one you will never lose.

~ Jo Courdt

 
 
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free_of_fem
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Re: 1,000 positive stepping stones on the path to healing ( 11:21:16 SatJan 24 2004 )

This has been a week from hell (details elsewhere) so my only positive I can think of is that I've tried to keep my since of humor. Mixed results but I'm trying.

  
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RiChEsToRaGs
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Re: 1,000 positive stepping stones on the path to healing ( 16:32:33 SatJan 24 2004 )

Some people I know invited me over to their house last night just to spend an evening having a nice dinner and watch a DVD. It was a chance to escape, forget the insanity and try to focus. I never really knew these people had enough interest to invite me to do something like this. Maybe I can even call them friends?

  
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Balbrenny
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Re: 1,000 positive stepping stones on the path to healing ( 02:40:19 SunJan 25 2004 )

I haven't posted a positive for a while. It has been a very strange week including the fact that a man killed himself in the lay-by opposite our house on Thursday afternoon. It took the police a while to work out that it was definitely a suicide so we were living opposite a crime scene - floodlights, forensic team, police and twenty cars - in our normally quiet street. This activity seemed to totally upset my eldest son who has thrown a couple of tantrums.

Yesterday, he broke a window, put 12 holes in the walls and took a kitchen knife to the formica in the kitchen as well as throwing a knife into the wall clock. But there were a couple of positives - although he verbally refuses to take responsibility (it was my fault because I was going to do the grocery shopping at one supermarket while he wanted me to go to the other one :crazy:smile: he did sweep up the broken glass and plaster when asked to and today he gave me some money towards the cost of the repairs. This came out of his first wages from some work he did during the school hols.

So I think that although he is still finding it hard to admit responsibility verbally, he is starting to take actions that show that he knows he is accountable.

  
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Balbrenny
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Re: 1,000 positive stepping stones on the path to healing ( 02:55:57 SunJan 25 2004 )

I'm going to add another one because I haven't posted for a while.

My ex has again been playing games around his contact with our youngest son. 3 months ago, he asked for a variation for next weekend. This should be my weekend but he wanted to change it as he wanted to take him to his father's 70th. Fine.

I heard nothing more and on Jan 9th, sent him a polite email asking what the arrangements were as far as picking our son up and dropping him back (my in-laws live 9 hours drive away). He finally replied to this 2 days ago saying that he did not want our son for next weekend as he had made a mistake and it was not his dad's 70th - it was his 69th - so there was no party.

I have already made arrangements for next weekend that will now have to be changed. The positive was my reaction to this. I sent him an email reminding him that he is legally supposed to make arrangements 2 weeks in advance and that I expected to be kept better informed. (Boundary-setting) But I really did not feel any anger or anything about it all. I was able to just let it go.

  
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Hewhoshouldnotbenamed
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Re: 1,000 positive stepping stones on the path to healing ( 09:21:02 SunJan 25 2004 )

Well, here I am again in the middle of the night. I think we have a trend here. The biggest positive since I last checked in is that my T person complimented me for the work we did in session this week. Not exactly a biggie but it made me feel good. Its been kind of a blah period.


  
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friendly_ASPD
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Re: 1,000 positive stepping stones on the path to healing ( 15:53:48 SunJan 25 2004 )

I'm now at 4 1/2 months without using. So far so good.


  
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DantesPrayer
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Re: 1,000 positive stepping stones on the path to healing ( 16:22:28 SunJan 25 2004 )

This positive happened just before Christmas. My boss heard that I was planning a trip out of town to spend Christmas with my sister, and that I would be renting a minivan to carry my in-town relatives with me. He then volunteered the use of his own full-sized family van in order to save us the price of the rental. It felt good that he trusted me that much, and I accepted the offer. I had his oil changed before we left, and upon our return I washed and vacuumed his van and filled it with gas before taking it back to him.

Not a huge deal, but it made me feel pretty good that I was regarded as being that trustworthy.

Dante

  
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TcBrown
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Re: 1,000 positive stepping stones on the path to healing ( 18:19:12 SunJan 25 2004 )

Congrats Friendly, keep it up!

Dante it must feel good to be regarded as that trustworthy.

Yesterday was a fun day for me--another chance to take care of the inner child. I braved the ugly weather conditions and went to my nephews wrestling match. Afterward I took him and a couple of his friends out to see the Cat in the Hat. Yes, I behind, what can I say?




---
You do not need to be loved, not at the cost of yourself. The single relationship that is truly central and crucial in a life is the relationship to the self . .. Of all the people you will know in a lifetime , you are the only one you will never lose.

~ Jo Courdt

 
 
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