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Re: 1,000 positive stepping stones on the path to healing ( 04:31:55 SatFeb 14 2004 ) |
I was able to cry today and not become depressed, so there's some progress being made with getting through to my feelings. It wasn't that deep crying, but it still felt pretty moving. I'm encouraged
I also read my little Vaknin parody to my sister and Mom, in the most grand and serious-sounding voice... they both thought it was hilarious and told me how great and admirable my writing is. It's about time someone noticed.
Wish there was something I could say about Valentine's Day. But I don't have a Valentine.
Still, there's my Mom and my sister to get cards for. And I always have my cat Loki. His love for me is like a sine curve... at breakfast, lunch, and dinnertimes its high, but at the other times... merowwwwww!
Well, Happy V-Day to all of you,
You know, of course, where this other world lies hidden. It is the world of your own soul that you seek. Only within yourself exists that other reality for which you long. I can give you nothing that has not already its being within yourself... All I can give you is the impulse, the key. I can help you to make your own world visible. That is all.
- Herman Hesse, Steppenwolf
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Re: 1,000 positive stepping stones on the path to healing ( 15:33:33 SunFeb 15 2004 ) |
Well, I went to lunch for Valentine's day, then to Barnes and Noble for my Godiva hot chocolate, then ran some errands and realized the the little sniffles I had were making me feel awful! I drove the hour back to my small town to discover I had a low grade fever! I felt so miserable, snarly, and gross that I caught myself thinking, "Thank God I don't have a Valentine or any big plans; that would've made getting sick a real bummer. As it is, my son is with his dad this weekend so all I have to do is lay around in my robe drinking hot tea and watching television." It made me realize how artificial Valentine's Day really is. Who would've guessed I'd end up happy to be alone on Valentine's Day? (Green snot will do that for you!)
Also, my brother called me and talked for 35 minutes about his baby son. He even went into how long his middle finger is, and I was so good, I resisted the urge to say, "Yeah, that'll come in handy when he's a teenager and uses it to flip you off!" We also talked about my son. I told him I felt jealous that he could have more children, and he tried to talk me out of it. I said, "Hey, it's just a feeling, don't worry about it. Siblings are supposed to be jealous of each other some of the time." And he said the sweetest thing, he said, "Yeah, but your little boy is so cool he's worth a whole house full of kids!" I told him that the jealousy was just a little thing, and the main thing I was feeling was a lot of love for him and his wife and their son, and excitement about meeting my nephew and getting to see them, and how cool it was to talk with my brother about our kids. He was really touched. I was really touched. It was a moment!
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