|Quote: malison at 03:46:18 Fri Apr 22 2005|
I am not sure if I do.. but probably. How can you tell the difference between having a specific person you feel unusual affection, respect and admiration for, and someone you have placed on a pedastel?
I believe the key is whether you are seeing this person for who they really are, or whether you have a fantasy or ideal image of who you want them to be. There's nothing wrong with having special affection for someone if you really are seeing the real person, faults and all.
I know I really resisted bigtime the idea that I was putting others on a pedestal for pretty much the same kind of reasons bradley mentions. It wasn't until somewhere along the line where my therapist helped me see that my reason for putting others on a pedestal was to knock them off again once they had failed to live up to my image of who they should be. Once I saw this I began to see a pattern of this kind of behavior over and over again throughout my life. I doubt fairly seriously most of the people I had such thoughts about had the slightest inclination that was happening, because they saw how I distanced myself from them after they failed to live up to who I thought they should be, or perhaps who I needed them to be.
This pattern is something that got me into some trouble because I tended to be jealous of the fantasy image of these people and went out of my way to beat them back down to a more humble personhood. My style of doing this was I suppose passaive-aggressive to a degree, with me being the one who paid dearly for it in the end.
Its far too easy to place celebrities and other public people on a pedestal. We see their public image and we create a picture of who they are and how they are important in our life. Its also easy for these celebrity sorts to get knocked off the pedestal if they show a shortcoming of any kind. I have never paid a lot of attention to the whole deadhead thing but it sounds as though lots of people placed Jerry Garcia on a pedestal. I just really don't understand why they did this, but that's just one of many little questions in life I make no claim to understanding.