"Out beyond ideas of right-doing and wrong-doing there is a field. I'll meet you there." ----- Jalal ad-Din Muhammad Balkhi-Rumi, 13th century Sufi poet.
"Have faith that people do their best. I don't know anyone who would eat with pigs out of a trough in a muddy barnyard if he knew that a well-prepared meal was on the table in a clean house - do you?" Greg Baer
"The Secret in healing Narcissism is not to heal it at all, but to listen to it. Narcissism is a signal that the soul is not being loved sufficiently. The greater the Narcissism, the less love being given." ~ Thomas Moore, 'Care of the Soul'.
Q. Is it really possible to heal NPD?
A. Anything is possible. You do not have to be a negative statistic on a probablity curve of people with Narcissistic Personality Disorder
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Cyber Healing PhD
Eat your heart out
Re: Devaluing a relationship ( 16:33:16 MonApr 25 2005 ) |
This is something talked about extensively in the victims boards. I believe it to be little more than a label given to the painful feelings a person experiences when a relationship is based on conditional rather than unconditional love. Personally I've found it be most commonly used to cast blame and guilt and to suggest one person is totally responsible for the relationship not meeting the needs of another. In reality the person who is accused of devaluing a relationship is in pain as well because their expectations or needs have likewise not beenfullfilled. The pain experienced here is important, the title of devaluing is worthless. Some common examples I've heard of the alleged devaluation process are affairs, silent treatment, not keeping promises, not being emotionally present, etc. Again all of these are important in and of themselves but they are all symptoms of illusions of love, or conditional love, rather than a specific "devaluation."
Instead of quoting the Budda, be the Budda, be "the awakened one," which is what the word budda means.
Eckhart Tolle, "The Power of Now"
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