"Out beyond ideas of right-doing and wrong-doing there is a field. I'll meet you there." ----- Jalal ad-Din Muhammad Balkhi-Rumi, 13th century Sufi poet.

"Have faith that people do their best. I don't know anyone who would eat with pigs out of a trough in a muddy barnyard if he knew that a well-prepared meal was on the table in a clean house - do you?" Greg Baer

"The Secret in healing Narcissism is not to heal it at all, but to listen to it. Narcissism is a signal that the soul is not being loved sufficiently. The greater the Narcissism, the less love being given." ~ Thomas Moore, 'Care of the Soul'.

Q. Is it really possible to heal NPD?

A. Anything is possible. You do not have to be a negative statistic on a probablity curve of people with Narcissistic Personality Disorder

Heal NPD :: Open Topic :: How long will it take to bring our Narcissus off the cross?
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zachery
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Re: How long will it take to bring our Narcissus off the cross? ( 19:27:19 FriApr 29 2005 )

Interesting thoughts here. I cannot speak for others but I am addicted to my pain. I think I used to like this. Now I want it to go away and so far haven't been able to do that . . .

  
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TcBrown
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Re: How long will it take to bring our Narcissus off the cross? ( 15:27:55 SatApr 30 2005 )

For Steely and others who are struggling with the quote box, simply put the word quote in [ ] at the beginning of what you want to quote and /quote in [ ] at the end. I know this came up in another thread but it just dawned on me I didn't comment there. So kick me, its early on Saturday :smile:

Quote:



I wonder if we're addicted to our pain...like we need it around at all times, sorta as fuel. Without it, who are we? Hmmm...



I think so. This makes me think back to my Senior yearbook from High School where one of my classmates comments was that pain means your alive, and besides its such a rush. This particular person was referring to physical pain, but there might be even more truth to this with regards to emotional pain. :crazy:

With NPD it seems our pain equals incredible amounts of fear, and I think its the fear that provides the rush that is addictive. There is definitely fear around facing this issue in my life, but the real fear is letting go of this and facing the roots which give life to the fear. I remember how my heart raced the first time I ever felt fear. In some ways I felt more alive then ever before. No, this isn't a healthy way of experiencing life, but at the time it was the closest thing I knew and I guess it appealed to me at some level. I now see there are much better ways to experience life and I am strong enough not to return to certain old patterns, yet the fear still lurks on the surface of my mind.

I have told myself I am going to write a letter of apology to these people and mail it today. I hope it actually happens because I think this is an important step in moving forward to the next phase in my life.




---
Have faith that people do their best. I don't know anyone who would eat with pigs out of a trough in muddy barnyard if he knew that a well-prepared meal was on the table in a clean house - do you? Greg Baer.
 
 
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TcBrown
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Re: How long will it take to bring our Narcissus off the cross? ( 12:54:36 SunMay 1 2005 )

I did it! :Isaluteme:

I tried finding reasons not to write the letter, but I reached a place where something inside of me said now is the time. I felt like kind of a scared little boy as I was writing it, but once it was done and in the mail there was a certain relief. I have no expectations for myself or others as far as what this might mean in my own healing.

I'm not entirely sure if this is related or not but I had a very difficult night trying to sleep. I went back to my place after dinner whilemy girlfriend went over to her brothers for a while before coming over for the night. I was sound asleep when she came in, which appears to be dangerous with me. She was approaching the bed and I woke up in startled fright screaming and thrashing about. In my thrashing I kicked her in the face. Luckily it wasn't anything too serious. I have told her about this tendency and had one much less serious encounter like this a couple of weeks ago.

I still don't know why I am so afraid or startled when people come near me while I'm sleeping. I'm also still wound much tighter then I should be during the day. Something is happening but I don't understand what it is. Oh well, I suppose when I'm ready the teacher inside will tell me what I need to know.



---
Have faith that people do their best. I don't know anyone who would eat with pigs out of a trough in muddy barnyard if he knew that a well-prepared meal was on the table in a clean house - do you? Greg Baer.
 
 
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