"Out beyond ideas of right-doing and wrong-doing there is a field. I'll meet you there." ----- Jalal ad-Din Muhammad Balkhi-Rumi, 13th century Sufi poet.

"Have faith that people do their best. I don't know anyone who would eat with pigs out of a trough in a muddy barnyard if he knew that a well-prepared meal was on the table in a clean house - do you?" Greg Baer

"The Secret in healing Narcissism is not to heal it at all, but to listen to it. Narcissism is a signal that the soul is not being loved sufficiently. The greater the Narcissism, the less love being given." ~ Thomas Moore, 'Care of the Soul'.

Q. Is it really possible to heal NPD?

A. Anything is possible. You do not have to be a negative statistic on a probablity curve of people with Narcissistic Personality Disorder

Heal NPD :: Open Topic :: Healing not coming fast enough
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taransmith
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Healing not coming fast enough ( 00:18:41 WedMay 4 2005 )

I know I just gave a pep talk to Hewho, but I'm feeling a little bumed on my own healing right now because it seems the kind of changes I want aren't happening anywhere near fast enough. I saw in another thread where someone talked about putting off doing things because the things don't stand up and applaud their performance. Well, I feel a need right now for someone to applaud the fact that I'm changing. My family is so messed up and caught in their own garbage they have little clue what's happening with me. And my therapist acts as though everything I say or do is routine and that I don't need to be constantly stroked and told that I am doing a good job. f--k him!

I can imagine some rolling their eyes and thinking here goes another N on an ego trip. All I can say to that is try living in a world where you never were offered the basic life skills a person needs and see if you would like it if no one noticed the fact that you are really working hard to make changes. I'm so tired of listening to people around me bitch about what I should be doing to meet their needs. Right now I'm far more interested in finding out who I really am instead of meeting other people's expectations. And it is nice to once in a while get some positive feedback for making this effort.

I wish I could change and heal by snapping my fingers. But I also know it doesn't happen that way. I wish to hell others would be aware of that and let me have some adda-boys for making the effort. Okay, I got that off my chest and I feel better.

  
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malison
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Re: Healing not coming fast enough ( 01:24:31 WedMay 4 2005 )

I am impressed you are able to let off steam as necessary, which means you are pretty in touch with your feelings and comfortable enough to share them, which seems like great progress in healing to me.

  
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windymoon
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Re: Healing not coming fast enough ( 02:38:51 WedMay 4 2005 )

:claphands: Taran, what I like and appreciate about you.

Your honesty about what you are feeling.

Acknowledging that you are human and would like a pat on the back for the work you are doing to make positive changes in your life. (Basic human need.)

Your honesty with the former female friend. Do you realize how rare that is? Any woman would appreciate a man who was honest and up front. I've had guys tell me they were crazy about me until they couldn't get in my pants, then they were crazy about someone else.

I like the fact that you keep moving forward even when things srrm to be going at a snails pace.

Reaching out to this group when you are having these down times is commendable!

It is sad that those in your circle can't see and appreciate your progress. Yet, those who are strangers can, do and will continue to do so. Be very patient with yourself!

:group_hug: Windy

ps This is the part where you say, "Aw shucks ma'am."

  
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Steely
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Re: Healing not coming fast enough ( 10:40:50 WedMay 4 2005 )

Yo Taran,

Big Respect to you for all your hard work:dance:

Sorry people around you aren't giving you the encouragement and support you deserve.

Peace,

Steely

  
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taransmith
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Re: Healing not coming fast enough ( 17:06:01 WedMay 4 2005 )

Aw shucks, ma'am :biggrin:

Thanks for the pats on the back everyone. I don't know why, but I just really needed that right now.

  
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Inverted
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Re: Healing not coming fast enough ( 18:35:36 WedMay 4 2005 )

Congrats on your healing. There is nothing selfish about what you're feeling.

:claphands:

  
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