I think I have been somewhat successful in alleviating most of my rage. At the very least it is certianly not so all consuming anymore.
Here are some of the things I've learned along the way that helped.
Like others said above, there is value in venting and getting our rage out. It helps to write about it here or journal it or write it in a letter etc...
Writing down and / or verbalizing our feelings take some of the weight of them off of us and allows us to examine them from a different perspective.
It is healthy to own whatever feelings we have and to allow ourselves to feel them until we work thru them.
Identify and know what it is EXACTLY that you are really mad about and how you came to be that way and determine if you really think it is a reasonable conclusion or not. If not, decide to change. Make a choice to not allow yourself to spend time thinking about it so much.
Rage for me was like a weed planted in my garden. By thinking about it and dwelling on it, and experiencing the reoccurance thru exposure to the source it was like giving it water and nourishments and so it grew and grew.
I did not actually choose to let it out, I thought I was doing a great job by keeping my mouth shut and containing these feelings. HA! that did not work! The trash never got collected and so it only piled up and up until one day it was over the curb and I was no longer big enough to contain it. Then it started overflowing from me in spurts and doses of emotional overload unleashed.
I learned......
that I don't have to like everybody or everything about everybody. It is okay if I think someone is doing stupid things or is a bad actor or can't sing or whatever.
I am entitled to an opinion if I want to have one. However, I know it is not always best to verbalize my opinion so often I bite my tongue instead. I don't have to tell anyone what I think, in order to have a valid opinion of my own, and that it is best to share true feelings and opinions only with people you really know and trust.
And it is always the best policy to be nice to others and accept that they are whereever they are for whatever reasons they have.
I learned
.....that not everyone knows when they are bad actors or can't sing or when they over compensate or act out. They just don't and I don't have to point it out to them either nor discuss it with others neccessarily. It is enough for me that I know.
....that others will see or perceive things based on their experiences and that that is okay. If they think bad acting is good then so what. I know best what I think is better.I don't get to decide what anyone else thinks but me and my opinion is and should be the most important to me. That does not mean I can't change my mind as I learn and grow or that I know it all.
....that I can make a choice and I can choose to water these weeds and watch them out grow the space available or I can choose to focus on something else entirely blocking out their light and starving them of water.
...that I can and should spend ALL that time focused on doing something else instead like practicing my own skills and trying to become a better person myself.
...that someone setting a good example is someone I can learn from and respect. And maybe I could teach others if I become such an example.
...that I sometimes have the most to learn from the people that aggravate me the most.
...that thinking things thru even after the fact is a good idea and if I made a mistake then I'll try not to make the same one again but beating myself up about it don't help.
....that when we focus on ourselves and our needs and our desires there is little time left for cultivating weeds and over time by doing so I feel better and better.
....that when the garbage stops piling up you no longer need a trash compactor. Without light and water weeds die and shrivel away.
...that there may always be weeds to pull. That I am human and I make mistakes. And that others are human too and they make mistakes too.
....that I can have a beautiful garden to enjoy only if I cultivate the flowers and not the weeds.
