"Out beyond ideas of right-doing and wrong-doing there is a field. I'll meet you there." ----- Jalal ad-Din Muhammad Balkhi-Rumi, 13th century Sufi poet.

"Have faith that people do their best. I don't know anyone who would eat with pigs out of a trough in a muddy barnyard if he knew that a well-prepared meal was on the table in a clean house - do you?" Greg Baer

"The Secret in healing Narcissism is not to heal it at all, but to listen to it. Narcissism is a signal that the soul is not being loved sufficiently. The greater the Narcissism, the less love being given." ~ Thomas Moore, 'Care of the Soul'.

Q. Is it really possible to heal NPD?

A. Anything is possible. You do not have to be a negative statistic on a probablity curve of people with Narcissistic Personality Disorder

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Healing becomes possible when all parties in a relationship come to see each other as co-creators of the relationship rather then attacker, and victim.

 
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    3 human beings online in the last 15 minutes - 0 Friend(s) of Narcissus, 0 covert NPDers and 3 Beloved and cherished GUEST(s) of Narcissus. (Most ever was 57 at 01:37:31 Fri Sep 11 2009)

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    jimmie
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    571 posts




    Mood Now: Headphone_Heaven

    Reply
    Keeping our sanity intact ( 12:35:45 MonJun 9 2003 )
    Good morning all, it has been an incredibly long weekend and I fear this week while be even worse. My son is currently going through a period of major depression which I believe is at least in part caused by the reality of being forced to go out and seek a job. His therapist has been pushing toward this for a couple of months and so far there have been a series of reasons why he has managed to avoid taking action. Maybe that will change this week, but this could be very painful for all concerned.

    This leads me to a question on how others manage to get healthy support in their daily lives while supporting and loving those with NPD? I see all to easily how we can allow ourselves to fall into the kind of victimization trap which is all so evident across the internet and in our daily lives.

    I like to go for very long bike rides during the early mornings of the spring and summer. I will be leaving for today's ride very soon:smile: We live in a somewhat rural area where it is still possible to escape some of the insanity of modern life and enter a world untouched by man, or at least less touched by man. These rides allow me to call upon parts of me that I sometimes have forgotten or never knew existed.

    I also find a lot of strength in this community as it has become somewhat of my mental health sanctuary. ZI am curious as to how others are coping and healing their own pain. I hope it is working welll for you.


      
    Mood:Mood Now: Headphone_Heaven ( Headphone_Heaven )
    athenathinks
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    298 posts


    Healing Postaholic


    Mood Now: Peaceful

    Reply
    Re: Keeping our sanity intact ( 19:49:35 MonJun 9 2003 )
    Tough, then ok, then tough, then nuts, then tough , then ok...you know the drill, I imagine.

    I know what you mean about the danger of the victimization trap...I get so angry, so hurt, so confused, so sorry for him...all at once, sometimes.

    There was a Stephen King novella I read once (I think under Richard Bachman) - I don't remember what it was titled, but it was about a boy who was in a forced march - the only one who was not killed was the last one still walking...The Long Walk? - something like that. It's been awhile and I read a lot. Many days I feel like this boy. The coping strategy is sometimes just going zen. One foot in front of the other, all my focus on that next step. Lift, swing, place, lift, swing, place.

    Once in a while, I feel hopeful. Although I think in the long haul our joint therapy will be useful (he IS being forced, by the therapist, to consider some of his actions and inconsistencies - and I keep hammering home the idea that "THIS IS BIGGER THAN ME OR US. THIS IS IN YOU"), it has in some ways escalated some of his/our problems - has this happened to you with your son?

    Some days are ok - although I can't stop feeling very, very cautious. Unfortunately, I think this impacts him negatively - but he does need to come to grips with the idea that my caution is a direct consequence of his actions.

    Seems to me that there is a need to force the consequences that co-exists with a need to be tender and slow. It's confusing to try and determine "which./when" - or at all. Ignoring is sometimes an option, when it's not too severe.

    As for support, this is largely it. When things aren't too bad, I write music/songs and sometimes articles (exploring ideas about things like agnosticism). I used to love to exercise, especially to dance, but since my knee surgery I kind of hate it. I've gained a ton of weight- yuck.

    Athena

      
    Mood:Mood Now: Peaceful ( Peaceful )

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    The Healing Narcissism And Disorders of the Self Community is not affiliated in any way with any mental health professional or agency. The advice given is from personal experience and should never be used as a replacement for therapy from a qualified licensed professional. If you are having a real life emergency and live in the United States please call your doctor or 9-1-1.