"Have faith that people do their best. I don't know anyone who would eat with pigs out of a trough in a muddy barnyard if he knew that a well-prepared meal was on the table in a clean house - do you?" Greg Baer

"The Secret in healing Narcissism is not to heal it at all, but to listen to it. Narcissism is a signal that the soul is not being loved sufficiently. The greater the Narcissism, the less love being given." ~ Thomas Moore, 'Care of the Soul'.

Q. Is it really possible to heal NPD?

A. Anything is possible. You do not have to be a negative statistic on a probablity curve of people with Narcissistic Personality Disorder

Heal NPD :: Family and Friends :: Where do I draw the line? Who's Online | Stats | Memberlist | Chatroom | Search | Lost Password | Shout Box " ShoutMix chat widget Healing becomes possible when all parties in a relationship come to see each other as co-creators of the relationship rather then attacker, and victim.   Can't start a new thread. (Host Only) Can't start a new poll. (Host Only) Can't add a reply. (Host Only) Can't edit your posts.(Everyone Registered) Register :: Log In :: Steering Committee The time is now 06:51:15 Thu May 23 2013 Welcome, Register :: Log In   Friends of Narcissus active in this forum: Friends of Narcissus active in this thread: Beloved and cherished GUEST(s) of Narcissus 3 human beings online in the last 15 minutes - 0 Friend(s) of Narcissus, 0 covert NPDers and 3 Beloved and cherished GUEST(s) of Narcissus. (Most ever was 57 at 01:37:31 Fri Sep 11 2009) Pages: [ 1 ] Quick-JumpWelcomeHOPEOpen TopicAsk a NarcissistResourcesOpen Topic: Members OnlyRecovery Room IITender Emotions [ < ] [ > ] free_of_fem Offline 151 posts Mood Now: Reply Where do I draw the line? ( 17:30:47 MonMay 3 2004 ) Options Reply Quote Report To Mod Last Posts Ignore User Global Ignore Whisper Saturday morning I received an unpected phone call from my ex's latest fling. She expressed concern about his mental state and asked if we could get together and "compare notes". This caught me off guard. Not that he has a girlfriend, but that she is out in the open and wants to bond around a common concern. I did not tell her one concern is this cause of hers was my husband for many years and I don't know that I want to have her tip-toe through notes to see what all we've been up to. So I hesitated on agreeing to meet with her. I'm still not sure what I think. Do others compare notes as it were with later girl/boyfriends? Where does my responsiblity to this person stop? Do I have any responsiblity to this person? Mood: Mood Now: ( Dazzled ) melaniemac Offline 627 posts Host Human Mood Now: Post Mood: Reply Re: Where do I draw the line? ( 17:58:17 MonMay 3 2004 ) Options Reply Quote Report To Mod Last Posts Ignore User Global Ignore Whisper I was in a different boat. I contacted my husbands first wife after he left. Mostly to confirm that I wasn't insane. We compared notes and I realized that he had changed quite a bit since his marraige to her but certainly there were a lot of similarities. It helped me a great deal because my ex had done a lot of devaluing. I think it helped her to some extent for her to realize she wasn't the only one that it happened to. It's all based on your own personal comfort level and if you are not comfortable, don't do it. Mel Mood: Mood Now: ( Peaceful ) Post Mood: ( Clowning_Around ) whowashe Offline 11 posts Reply Re: Where do I draw the line? ( 21:27:16 MonMay 3 2004 ) Options Reply Quote Report To Mod Last Posts Ignore User Global Ignore Whisper This is such a good question. I too contacted my ex-NH's first wife but only AFTER we were divorced. I didn't want to drag her into my affairs or make her feel like she had to make a choice to help me in any way. I really wanted to tell her I was sorry for buying into his Doo doo and smear campaign against her. I unknowingly did some things and said things that hurt her and I really wanted to make amends for my behavior. Our conversation was short but she graciously accepted my appology and offered her sympathies because she did the divorce/custody battle with him herself. Apparently, her son had told her some of the stuff his father had said and she reminded him that he spread the same lies about her. His present and third wife called me and started asking me questions about him, his lies, etc.., after they got married. I did enlighten her only to the things I could definitely prove and that had to do with me. She thinks she is the "real wife", the one who can fix this 50 year old man. I told her she better accept him for who he is because up to this point, he's not interested in recovery. I also told her that she really should have asked before the ring went on her finger. As I expected, she rationalized and justified his behavior and problems with his assistance. In a nutshell, she chose not to believe me anyway. If it were me, I wouldn't want to have anything to do with my ex-HN's future divorce, break-up, etc.. It was hard enough to get rid of the guy and I really don't wish to open that door again. Maybe that's selfish but that's were I am at this point. I am also leary about people who come to me wanting information from me in an effort to "help" someone else. Gives me a bad feeling. Good luck to you. Let us know what you decide. Mood: melitta Offline 144 posts Mood Now: Post Mood: Reply Re: Where do I draw the line? ( 00:01:36 TueMay 4 2004 ) Options Reply Quote Report To Mod Last Posts Ignore User Global Ignore Whisper Hello, I am a true believer in helping those who seek it. However, when it comes to discussing your X's issues with his new fling I'm not sure that it would do much to help. I've found that being honest with someone who is in love is not always the best choice, as the person usually doesn't believe what you're saying. On the other hand, perhaps she is at a point where what you have to say will make sense to her, and if so, then a conversation would be helpful. I don't know what point this person is at, so the decision would have to be yours. Good luck. Melitta Mood: Mood Now: ( Reading ) Post Mood: ( Reading ) Pages: [ 1 ] Quick-JumpWelcomeHOPEOpen TopicAsk a NarcissistResourcesOpen Topic: Members OnlyRecovery Room IITender Emotions [ < ] [ > ] BbRing CORRTJ   Can't start a new thread. (Host Only) Can't start a new poll. (Host Only) Can't add a reply. (Host Only) Can't edit your posts.(Everyone Registered)Total Friends of Narcissus: 3951 Can't start a new thread. (Host Only) Can't start a new poll. (Host Only) Can't add a reply. (Host Only) Can't edit your posts.(Everyone Registered) Register :: Log In :: Steering Committee The time is now 06:51:15 Thu May 23 2013 Powered By BbBoard V1.4.2 © 2001-2007 BbBoy.net Community created 3.10.2003 The Healing Narcissism And Disorders of the Self Community is not affiliated in any way with any mental health professional or agency. The advice given is from personal experience and should never be used as a replacement for therapy from a qualified licensed professional. If you are having a real life emergency and live in the United States please call your doctor or 9-1-1.