"Have faith that people do their best. I don't know anyone who would eat with pigs out of a trough in a muddy barnyard if he knew that a well-prepared meal was on the table in a clean house - do you?" Greg Baer

"The Secret in healing Narcissism is not to heal it at all, but to listen to it. Narcissism is a signal that the soul is not being loved sufficiently. The greater the Narcissism, the less love being given." ~ Thomas Moore, 'Care of the Soul'.

Q. Is it really possible to heal NPD?

A. Anything is possible. You do not have to be a negative statistic on a probablity curve of people with Narcissistic Personality Disorder

Heal NPD :: Family and Friends :: Games Who's Online | Stats | Memberlist | Chatroom | Search | Lost Password | Shout Box " ShoutMix chat widget Healing becomes possible when all parties in a relationship come to see each other as co-creators of the relationship rather then attacker, and victim.   Can't start a new thread. (Host Only) Can't start a new poll. (Host Only) Can't add a reply. (Host Only) Can't edit your posts.(Everyone Registered) Register :: Log In :: Steering Committee The time is now 23:18:36 Sun May 19 2013 Welcome, Register :: Log In   Friends of Narcissus active in this forum: Friends of Narcissus active in this thread: Beloved and cherished GUEST(s) of Narcissus 10 human beings online in the last 15 minutes - 0 Friend(s) of Narcissus, 0 covert NPDers and 10 Beloved and cherished GUEST(s) of Narcissus. (Most ever was 57 at 01:37:31 Fri Sep 11 2009) Pages: [ 1 ] Quick-JumpWelcomeHOPEOpen TopicAsk a NarcissistResourcesOpen Topic: Members OnlyRecovery Room IITender Emotions [ < ] [ > ] Little_by_Little Offline 89 posts Mood Now: Post Mood: Reply Games ( 12:35:57 TueNov 16 2004 ) Options Reply Quote Report To Mod Last Posts Ignore User Global Ignore Whisper Money is a delicate subject in our house and it has become the object countless numbers of games between my husband and myself. So much so that I fear it could eventually be the final straw that destroys our marriage. The truth his we both like our toys and to a certain degree respect the toys the other likes to play with. He has his boats and I have my Coleman collection that includes lanterns and other items dating back to the 1930's. Some of the stuff I have is collectors items and not exactly cheap, but I like to restore them and just have them around the place not to sell. Like I said most of the time we respect each others toys but there are periods when he freaks over the money I'm spending and tells me not to buy any more lanterns. Usually not long after he tells me that he'll go off and spend money on something ridiculous and I'll respond by getting another lantern or something else for my collection. Currently I have various toys stored around the property that he dosen't know I have and they will conveniently appear soon after a boat or some other toy follows him home. He dosen't really pay enough attention to my collection to know for sure what was there from one day to the next so I can play this game very effectively. However all of this is very unhealthy and I know it. Making matters worse is the kids are aware of what we're doing. Their reactions range from amused to being rather annoyed by the insanity of it all. I don't really have a good way of getting out of the games, but I'm not willing to give up my collection why he goes about spending on his toys. If anyone can offer a way out of this trap it would be very appreciated. Mood: Mood Now: ( Loser ) Post Mood: ( Witchy_Woman ) melaniemac Offline 627 posts Host Human Mood Now: Post Mood: Reply Re: Games ( 14:46:23 TueNov 16 2004 ) Options Reply Quote Report To Mod Last Posts Ignore User Global Ignore Whisper Boy is this familiar. My husband stated one of the reasons he left is because I spent too much money. I wasn't the one with the ebay username however. I was spending money on things like clothes, diapers, items for the household. If I needed new clothes I bought them at Salvation Army... That being said one of my biggest regrets is that I gave into him time and time again on the whole money issue. It just seemed like every time we got in too deep something would happen and we would be ok again for a while. Now that he's gone, not paying support and I am forced into working full time, never getting to spend time with my kids, I deeply regret many of the items I agreed to. Like your spouse, mine would stay out of it except to occasionally freak out when he would catch a glimse of the phone bill or credit card statement. My suggestion would be to sit down together every payday and go through all the bills together. Then the decision isn't wholly yours and he cannot blame you for everything. You have to make him take responsibility because it is unlikely he will volunteer. And, you are going to have to be grown up about it too. You might have to give up a thing or two of your own. Sucks, I know! Take care, Mel Mood: Mood Now: ( Peaceful ) Post Mood: ( Airheaded ) TcBrown Offline 2954 posts Cyber Healing PhD Eat your heart out Pacific Western Mood Now: Post Mood: Reply Re: Games ( 02:53:32 ThuNov 18 2004 ) Options Reply Quote Report To Mod Last Posts Ignore User Global Ignore Whisper As I've noted before my own financial handlings are far from perfect so I cannot preach real hard. I will say a couple of points. First, someone has to be the adult in the relationship. If your the one that sees what's happening is not adult behavior than it might come to you to work toward stoping it. Hiding things around the property is not the most adult behavior, regardless of what he might be doing in your mind to justify it. I think if the two of you sit down at least on a regular time schedule and see that the other is being responsible in their handling of the money that it will hopefully bring an end to the need for games. You might even create a toy budget. --- You do not need to be loved, not at the cost of yourself. The single relationship that is truly central and crucial in a life is the relationship to the self . .. Of all the people you will know in a lifetime , you are the only one you will never lose. ~ Jo Courdt     Mood: Mood Now: ( Bruised ) Post Mood: ( Sad ) Pages: [ 1 ] Quick-JumpWelcomeHOPEOpen TopicAsk a NarcissistResourcesOpen Topic: Members OnlyRecovery Room IITender Emotions [ < ] [ > ] BbRing CORRTJ   Can't start a new thread. (Host Only) Can't start a new poll. (Host Only) Can't add a reply. (Host Only) Can't edit your posts.(Everyone Registered)Total Friends of Narcissus: 3951 Can't start a new thread. (Host Only) Can't start a new poll. (Host Only) Can't add a reply. (Host Only) Can't edit your posts.(Everyone Registered) Register :: Log In :: Steering Committee The time is now 23:18:36 Sun May 19 2013 Powered By BbBoard V1.4.2 © 2001-2007 BbBoy.net Community created 3.10.2003 The Healing Narcissism And Disorders of the Self Community is not affiliated in any way with any mental health professional or agency. The advice given is from personal experience and should never be used as a replacement for therapy from a qualified licensed professional. If you are having a real life emergency and live in the United States please call your doctor or 9-1-1.