"Out beyond ideas of right-doing and wrong-doing there is a field. I'll meet you there." ----- Jalal ad-Din Muhammad Balkhi-Rumi, 13th century Sufi poet.

"Have faith that people do their best. I don't know anyone who would eat with pigs out of a trough in a muddy barnyard if he knew that a well-prepared meal was on the table in a clean house - do you?" Greg Baer

"The Secret in healing Narcissism is not to heal it at all, but to listen to it. Narcissism is a signal that the soul is not being loved sufficiently. The greater the Narcissism, the less love being given." ~ Thomas Moore, 'Care of the Soul'.

Q. Is it really possible to heal NPD?

A. Anything is possible. You do not have to be a negative statistic on a probablity curve of people with Narcissistic Personality Disorder

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Healing becomes possible when all parties in a relationship come to see each other as co-creators of the relationship rather then attacker, and victim.

 
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    6 human beings online in the last 15 minutes - 0 Friend(s) of Narcissus, 0 covert NPDers and 6 Beloved and cherished GUEST(s) of Narcissus. (Most ever was 57 at 01:37:31 Fri Sep 11 2009)

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    detroit_girl
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    Aware of the damage ( 22:58:06 TueMar 22 2005 )
    A friend of mine with NPD seems embarassed around old girlfriends, women he has used and hurt. He avoids them at all costs, almost like he knows he wronged them. Did any board members realize the hurt you had caused even before you went into therapy? Does this awareness mean my friend is closer to being healed, because he knows and is embarassed he has hurt people. I should note that he does not seem apologetic, just embarrased. He is also not in therapy.

      
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    TcBrown
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    Re: Aware of the damage ( 14:21:54 WedMar 23 2005 )
    I had a degree of uncomfortableness around people I felt I had treated poorly long before entering therapy. In fact I'd say that has always been true. I think in my case it was a combination of extreme feelings of shame associated with my own feelings of unworthiness, combined with some deep guilty feelings. None of which I had the emotional development needed to process and function around these people, or very well with myself for that matter. People with this disorder are very capable of feeling guilt but we tend to block it out in the same manner we block out other emotions.

    Your friend might or might not be getting any closer to true healing. I'd say you have to look at the bigger picture of his life and see if there is a willingness to look at himself and make changes instead of trying to read too much into this one fragment. If he is avoiding even talking about these feelings then I'd say its unlikely he's at a point of being ready to make a serious committment to healing.



    ---
    Instead of quoting the Budda, be the Budda, be "the awakened one," which is what the word budda means.

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    The Healing Narcissism And Disorders of the Self Community is not affiliated in any way with any mental health professional or agency. The advice given is from personal experience and should never be used as a replacement for therapy from a qualified licensed professional. If you are having a real life emergency and live in the United States please call your doctor or 9-1-1.