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Healing becomes possible when all parties in a relationship come to see each other as co-creators of the relationship rather then attacker, and victim.
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5 human beings online in the last 15 minutes - 0 Friend(s) of Narcissus, 0 covert NPDers and 5 Beloved and cherished GUEST(s) of Narcissus. (Most ever was 57 at 01:37:31 Fri Sep 11 2009)
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Am I one of "them"? ( 19:31:51 TueMar 29 2005 ) | |
I am confused! Lately I have been told by my spouse that I'm a narsissist. In fact, this is the reason why she broke up with me after a three year relationship. To be honest, I was pretty surprised by this diagnose. Actually the diagnose was made by a relation-therapist, after I had seen her once during one single 45 minutes session. Now since then, I've been searching the internet for informtion about this disease. Many sites publish a sort of check-list on how to recognize one. Surely some of the "symptoms" fit me too. But then again, many of these symptoms actually fit a great amount of people (I think). For example: "A narsissist appears to be a charming, helpful person". What about the people who simply are? At the same time, many of the symptons do not even remotely relate to my personality. I even discussed this diagnose of my spouse with a friend of mine,who is a retired psychiatrist. In her opinion I am really not a narsissist. Still it troubles me; Could I be one??? Or is it a delusion of my spouse? She has herself a history of being depressed, has been in a mental institute many years ago after several suicide attempts and often has feelings of being a victem (of about everything). Actually she also believes now that her father is a narsissist too. In any case, I am worried and confused. On the other hand, I don't really think I am and neither does any of my close friends or relatives, on the other hand; What if there is some truth in it? How do I find out?
Please enlight me!
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TcBrown
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Re: Am I one of "them"? ( 19:37:33 WedMar 30 2005 ) | |
I guess my question is do you feel as though there are things about yourself which you do not understand and wish to heal? If not, chances are it really does not matter what others say because you are not at a place to take a serious look at yourself. However, if you are serious about taking a deep look within yourself in an effort to become better connected with your true identity then a couple of things stand out in your post.
First, there is no way anyone can make an accurate diagnosis of NPD based on one 45 minute session. NPD is something that in order to be diagnosed correctly is the result of observing behavior over a period of time and looking honestly at how your personal interactions with others have been throughout your life. You will find that many of the best professionals will stay away from labels such as NPD because they overgenalize certain behaviors and it often works to the reverse end of connecting with your true identity.
Second, if you are sincere about healing you need to have a focus on avoiding blaming either yourself or your wife, or suggesting she has more problems so I (you) must be okay. That's really going to get you nowhere in the effort of healing, and instead will lead to more separation.
Remember the checklists or tests found on this or other sites are at best a starting point for determining what might be happening within you. They are not designed and should not be used as a replacement for a professional diagnosis. Only you know yourself well enough to have a feel for whether such a professional evaluation would be of benefit for you in terms of making peace with yourself and how you interact with others in this world.
Good luck
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Instead of quoting the Budda, be the Budda, be "the awakened one," which is what the word budda means.
Eckhart Tolle, "The Power of Now"
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Can't start a new thread. (Host Only)Can't start a new poll. (Host Only)Can't add a reply. (Host Only)Can't edit your posts.(Everyone Registered)Total Friends of Narcissus: 3951
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The time is now 05:10:38 Sat May 25 2013
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