"Out beyond ideas of right-doing and wrong-doing there is a field. I'll meet you there." ----- Jalal ad-Din Muhammad Balkhi-Rumi, 13th century Sufi poet.
"Have faith that people do their best. I don't know anyone who would eat with pigs out of a trough in a muddy barnyard if he knew that a well-prepared meal was on the table in a clean house - do you?" Greg Baer
"The Secret in healing Narcissism is not to heal it at all, but to listen to it. Narcissism is a signal that the soul is not being loved sufficiently. The greater the Narcissism, the less love being given." ~ Thomas Moore, 'Care of the Soul'.
Q. Is it really possible to heal NPD?
A. Anything is possible. You do not have to be a negative statistic on a probablity curve of people with Narcissistic Personality Disorder
Healing becomes possible when all parties in a relationship come to see each other as co-creators of the relationship rather then attacker, and victim.
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Cyber Healing PhD
Eat your heart out
Addressing some of the FAQ's and concerns from family and friends ( 16:30:02 SatJun 21 2003 ) |
Throughout the development of these support forums there have been questions expressed in various forms by family members and friends of people who believe they have been harmed by narcissism. It has been suggested by some that it may be helpful to address these questions once rather than continuing to fill up forum space with them. I will attempt to answer these questions so hopefully family and friends have a good idea if this is the place for them to seek support.
Are family and friends welcome to participate in these forums?
Yes! Absolutely, as long as they understand the foundation of this community is offering positive support for those suffering from NPD. If you are here to learn positive ways to help people you care about, by all means you are welcome here. If, however, you are here to vent your anger about the way you feel someone who might (or might not) suffer from NPD has treated you than you are in the wrong place. This is not a place to come and expect people suffering from NPD to issue massive apologies for being the disorder which they are suffering. We have several family members and friends who are regular and positive contributing members of this community . These members are more then happy to offer support and try and help you through difficult periods.
Do members and guests who are suffering from NPD understand that they have hurt people?
As a general rule, yes. It is very unlikely that anyone suffering from this disorder who does not acknowledge they have hurt people will be interested in, let alone participate in these forums. You must also understand that the first and primary victim of NPD are those who are suffering from this disorder. Contrary to what some may suggest we did not ask for this disorder. We are not evil, we are very human, indeed we suffer from some of the deepest wounds known to humanity. We are struggling to find ourselves and heal painful wounds which we suffered during our tender developmental years. Venting your anger toward people suffering from this disorder not only does absolutely nothing to promote healing, it serves the opposite effect of wounding people who are aleady in considerable amounts of pain. There has already been considerable damage done in this respect over the internet and our host and co-hosts will enforce the membership and posting guidelines very strictly in cases of hatred and prejudice. Probably nothing will result in corrective steps against your standing in this community quicker then venting raw anger in a way which labels people suffering from this disorder as evil or unhuman, or otherwise venting raw and indiscriminate hate, rage and intolerance toward people who have never done a thing to hurt you personally.
As we continue to develop this community other questions may arise which need to be addressed in this forum. Members who have questions not addressed here may send me a private message and I will try to answer either in a private reply or in this forum,
thank you for your interest in the Healing Narcissism and Disorders of the Self Forums
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The Healing Narcissism And Disorders of the Self Community is not affiliated in any way with any mental health professional or agency. The advice given is from personal experience and should never be used as a replacement for therapy from a qualified licensed professional. If you are having a real life emergency and live in the United States please call your doctor or 9-1-1.