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Philip_Kippel 01:03:13 Fri Feb 20 2004 Offline 1099 posts Supreme Member Reply |
Please just start posting the chapters of your story already, Michael. I REALLY want to read your story...and I'm pretty sure that at least some of the members here would love to read it too.
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FilKiFan  01:05:21 Fri Feb 20 2004 Offline 1767 posts Administrator Geek Around Town  Mood Now:  Post Mood:  Reply |
probably Ash would like to.
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AshWink15 02:26:23 Fri Feb 20 2004 Offline 1363 posts Administrator Insane Writer/Actress  Mood Now:  Post Mood:  Reply |
ME ME ME!
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Rufus3000 20:50:44 Fri Feb 20 2004 Offline 7 posts Newbie Mood Now:  Post Mood:  Reply |
Tomorrow.
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AshWink15 21:10:22 Fri Feb 20 2004 Offline 1363 posts Administrator Insane Writer/Actress Mood Now: Post Mood: Reply |
*pouts* I can wait. In the meantime, I'll make my own fanfiction thread. Not now though. Still in class and stuff.
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Rufus3000 13:44:24 Sat Feb 21 2004 Offline 7 posts Newbie Mood Now: Post Mood: Reply |
Well. I made my promise. Here is Chapter 1.
Love is SWEET! Chapter 1: Secret Crush There he was. Just standing there. Against his locker. In Kim's opinion, he was H-O-T. And if you think it's Josh, nice try, but no. It's not Josh. She walked closer to him, and he walked closer to her. Ron: Hey Kim. Kim: Hey Ron. I heard you got an A on the algebra quiz. Ron: Yup. Wade tutoring me really did work. Kim: Wade tutored you? Ron: Uh yeah... The bell rang. Ron: Going to be late for History. Seeya. Kim: Sure... seeya later. Ron walked off. Yes, it's true. Kim, The KIM POSSIBLE, was in love with her best friend. How? Obvious calling. Kim was in love with Ron since the first day of Pre-K. Kim couldn't do anything though. Why? because Ron had a girlfriend. Name? Zita Flores. Kim didn't want to even bother with her. Secretly, Zita was taunting and humiliating Kim every day. But that stopped in 9thgrade. Kim didn't want to tell Ron. It didn't feel right to her that asking your "sidekick's" help won't help anything for bullying. Kim felt sad. In the 10th grade, Kim broke up with her exboyfriend, Joshua Wendell Mankey. She only dated him to make Ron jealous, but it never work. Instead, it made Ron and Zita a couple. Kim walked off, and bumped into someone. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Sorry there wasn't alot of talking in this chapter. This chapter is just explaining everything that happened. I swear that there will be more talking in the next chapter, Zita Flores. | ||||
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Rufus3000 13:45:41 Sat Feb 21 2004 Offline 7 posts Newbie Mood Now: Post Mood: Reply |
And sorry for the shortness. It's, like I already said, an explaining chapter. More will be up soon. Till then, enjoy.
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FilKiFan 13:48:42 Sat Feb 21 2004 Offline 1767 posts Administrator Geek Around Town Mood Now: Post Mood: Reply |
Very good, although when you said "broke up with her ex-boyfriend" you should just say "broke up with her boyfriend" because it's in the past tense.
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Rufus3000 14:38:42 Sat Feb 21 2004 Offline 7 posts Newbie Mood Now: Post Mood: Reply |
Since Chapter 1 is too short, here is Chapter 2.
Chapter 2: Zita Flores. Kim: Sorry... ZITA?! Zita: I should've known you would bump into me. Kim: I said sorry. Zita: WHy don't you shut the hell up and leave me alone. Kim: You're just another paranoid freak. Zita: Sure... Kim: Bitch. Ron: Hey Zita Zita: Hey Ronniekins. Ready for our date? Ron: Of course I am. Zita: Let's go. As Zita and Ron walked away, Zita turned her face, and gave Kim the middle finger. Kim felt like killing Zita at this rate. Then, Kim's kimmunicater went off. Kim: Hey Wade, what's the sitch? Wade: Uh Kim. Are you crying because you want Ron to be your boyfriend? Kim: Yes... I don't want to talk about it. So what's up? Wade: Shego just breaked out Monkey Fist at 10:46 last night. Kim: Do you know why? Wade: No. But I can send you a ride to Drakkens lair to find out the information. It might take a while, but I'll catch you a ride. Kim: Thanks Wade. You are the best. Wade: I know. I know. Wade turned off the kimmunicater. Kim: Great. Now I have 2 problems. Drakken and Ron. ~~Meanwhile~~ Drakken: Shego?! Why did you free Monkey Freak? Shego: Oh... He's staying with us! Drakken: WHAT?! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Well. There you go. Next Chapter: Too Late. | ||||
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FilKiFan 14:41:56 Sat Feb 21 2004 Offline 1767 posts Administrator Geek Around Town Mood Now: Post Mood: Reply |
loved the middle finger part.
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AshWink15 15:59:36 Sat Feb 21 2004 Offline 1363 posts Administrator Insane Writer/Actress Mood Now: Post Mood: Reply |
pretty good
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Rufus3000 16:07:02 Sat Feb 21 2004 Offline 7 posts Newbie Mood Now: Post Mood: Reply |
Uh thanks.
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Rufus3000 01:39:02 Sun Feb 22 2004 Offline 7 posts Newbie Mood Now: Post Mood: Reply |
Chapter 3: Too Late
Drakken: WHAT DO YOU MEAN MONKEY FREAK IS STAYING WITH US!!! Shego: He's cute, sensitive, cute... Did I already say cute? Drakken: You and Monkey Fist... a couple? Shego: Yes....and Drakken. I have shocking news. Drakken: What? Shego: I'm kinda... well sorta... um Drakken: SHEGO! Just spit it out! Shego: I'm pregnent. Drakken: WHAT! YOU HAD SEX WITH THAT FREAK! Shego: He's not a freak. Drakken: Well, I should be happy for you, but... Shego: What? Drakken: I love you. Shego: Too late. I'm in love with Monkey Fist and nothing you can do will change that. Drakken: Fine! I'm going to get help. You have mental problems if you had sex with a monkey. Shego: What are you going to do? Call Kim Possible? Drakken: Hm... good idea... Until I am done with Kim Possible's help, I am now not going to be evil. Shego: Have you been watching too many cartoons again? Drakken: Shut up, Shego. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Well, I might not be updating for a while, so that's why I gave you the first three chapters. Enjoy! | ||||
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AshWink15 03:12:31 Sun Feb 22 2004 Offline 1363 posts Administrator Insane Writer/Actress Mood Now: Post Mood: Reply |
WTF?
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FilKiFan 03:57:43 Sun Feb 22 2004 Reply |
got that right. odd as hell.
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AshWink15 15:01:40 Sun Feb 22 2004 Offline 1363 posts Administrator Insane Writer/Actress Mood Now: Post Mood: Reply |
Shego and Monkey Fist? Drakken acting out of character? Whoa!
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Rufus3000 15:45:45 Sun Feb 22 2004 Offline 7 posts Newbie Mood Now: Post Mood: Reply |
I told you it's not a Drakken and Shego and it won't be. So don't give me bad reviews since it's not Drakken and Shego or Ron/ Zita. And don't worry. This story will still be pleasing for K/R shippers.
After this Chapter, the next time I'll update is on the 27, I can't on the 28 because it will be my 17 birthday, but on the 29 I'll update again. Till then, enjoy the next chapter. Chapter 4: Need help? Kim: Hey Ron! Kim took another bite out of her Taco. Ron: Can't stop. Zita is meeting me inside. Kim: Whatever. Ron walked inside Bueno Nacho. *Mental note: I better tell you this before Chapter 13, or you'll be confused. Kim and Ron went out as in dating, but they broke up.* Monique: Hey Kim. What's with the LONG face? Kim: Ever since Ron broke up with me, I couldn't stop thinking about him. Monique: Girl. You're going to have to get over it sooner or later. Kim: I can't. I mean ever since he broke up, HE DIDN'T THINK I WAS IN LOVE WITH HIM. Monique: Calm down. There's still hope. Kim: Last night, they were talking about what would they do if they were married. Monique: Maybe hope isn't the word. Then Kim's kimmunicater went off. Kim: Wade! Did you get me a lift? Wade: Yes. You just got a hit on the site from Drakken. He needs your help. Kim: I would rather search Monkey Fist's castle then help Drakken. Wade: Don't be so sure. Drakken knows how Monkey Fist broke out, and why it happened. Kim: How Wdae: He refused to tell me the why part, but Shego borke out Monkey Fist. Kim: And if I go, Drakken will tell me why? Wade: Yes. He said he needed to tell you, not me. Drakken's latest lair is in Mississippi. Kim: Great! I just need a new sidekick. Wade: Why not Ron? Kim and Monique: Zita. Wade: Oh... Monique: Why don't I take the place?! Kim: I would, but remember last time? ~~ Flashback (In the movie, ASIT.)~~ Monique: I'm going to need to improve. Improving like 10 years worth. ~~ Monique: So. I gotten better. Kim: Fine. Come on Monique. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Next Chapter: Trip To Mississippi. | ||||
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Rufus3000 23:58:21 Sun Feb 22 2004 Offline 7 posts Newbie Mood Now: Post Mood: Reply |
Come on peoplez! I need reviewz!
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FilKiFan 00:26:02 Mon Feb 23 2004 Offline 1767 posts Administrator Geek Around Town Mood Now: Post Mood: Reply |
I don't know how to respond to that, but anyway... I liked that chapter, although the whole 'Wade conversation' part was a little akward. Kim should have been more shocked when Wade talked about Drakken, and Wade should have hesitated or suspicous when he said "from Drakken". Also, she shouldn't have had immediately asked for a lift. Too OC.
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AshWink15 00:50:27 Mon Feb 23 2004 Offline 1363 posts Administrator Insane Writer/Actress Mood Now: Post Mood:  Reply |
I agree with FilKi.
Rufus, you understand the basic idea of the fanficdom but you just have to keep the characters in characters. I had trouble with the my first few fanfics.
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Rufus3000 00:59:59 Mon Feb 23 2004 Offline 7 posts Newbie Mood Now: Post Mood: Reply |
Hello. It's not my idea for a story. It's Rufusprimedude's.
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FilKiFan 01:07:40 Mon Feb 23 2004 Offline 1767 posts Administrator Geek Around Town Mood Now: Post Mood: Reply |
Yes, but it's your writing. I had this trouble with my fic (All About The Rons), because I totally messed up the plot so I can't write that much anymore. I'll rectify this and start a fresh fanfic so I don't do this again.
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AshWink15 01:20:06 Mon Feb 23 2004 Offline 1363 posts Administrator Insane Writer/Actress Mood Now: Post Mood: Reply |
And you should do some pre writing. Like writing it out in a notebook. That's what I do and have been doing for I'd say... 2 years. It's a safer way to write.
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FilKiFan 01:27:59 Mon Feb 23 2004 Offline 1767 posts Administrator Geek Around Town Mood Now: Post Mood: Reply |
I've written so many bad things, I'm so hardcore
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AshWink15 01:34:08 Mon Feb 23 2004 Offline 1363 posts Administrator Insane Writer/Actress Mood Now: Post Mood: Reply |
I wrote some POS in my day. Like when I was 13. The first 50 fics I wrote were with me and Nick Carter in them. I swear to god they were so retarded. I was a horrible writer 3 years ago.
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