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4 people online in the last 60 minutes - 0 Canucks, 0 Canucks In Hiding and 4 Visiting Canucks. (Most ever was 233 at 09:22:13 Fri Sep 21 2007) |
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ketzpjz I'm Asleep  posts Mood Now:  
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DEAR ABBY: My 25-year-old son, "Mitch," and his live-in girlfriend, "Mimi," just became engaged, and I'm really worried. They met in college, where Mimi admits she went to "get her MRS."
When Mitch took a job in another state and started working on his graduate degree, Mimi tagged along. At first she had her own apartment. But since she "couldn't afford" a car, Mitch drove her to and from work every day. Then she got a job where he worked, and they began having lunch together every day to the exclusion of co-workers. Two years later, Mimi still has no car of her own in a state where cars are a necessity. In addition, she's "just so tired" after her "long" 7 1/2-hour day that she "just can't manage to cook," so they either go out or Mitch does the cooking, too. Abby, my son is lean, outgoing, into sports and martial arts. Mimi is obese and lethargic. She constantly complains about her aches and pains and other people. She has no hobbies and spends every night watching television. I'm afraid this is somehow my fault. Mitch's mother was "high maintenance." I modeled caretaking for him in his early years when she and I were married -- we have been divorced for more than 10 years -- but never to this extent. Now Mimi has announced she needs surgery and pain-killers because she's got a bad back, and "exercise doesn't work." (How could it? She'd have to actually move!) I'm desperate to have a father-son talk about the path Mitch seems to be heading down, but I also know I risk alienating him, maybe permanently. Should I keep my mouth shut, or what? -- PANICKED POP IN PAWTUCKET DEAR PANICKED POP: Talk to your son, but make absolutely sure that when you do, it is not perceived as an attack on his fiancee. Instead, discuss the mistakes you made during your marriage to Mitch's mother, which fostered her dependence on you -- and which Mitch seems to be mirroring with Mimi. However, do it with a light touch, and with none of the contempt for her that you have displayed in your letter -- or it could, indeed, negatively affect your relationship with your son. |
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valjean I'm Asleep 299 posts   Mood Now:
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Midnite I'm Asleep posts  Mood Now: 
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As usual, we are getting only one side of the story here. There must be something about Mimi that the son finds attractive. If you listen to dear old dad, she doesn't have a single admirable trait. We all know that the hardest thing to fake is sincerity. This father needs to fake a sincere wish for a happy future for his son and future DIL, then be there for his son if it turns out bad.
My BIL is in the middle of a divorce which is not his choice. His soon-to-be ex-wife met him in a bar, went home with him, and stayed. She grew up in a *white trash* family, complete with the dilapidated trailer, a dozen sisters and brothers, and a father who divorced the mother so she could get welfare and proceeded to co-habitate with her so he could save on rent. My husband's whole family now realizes that she got pregnant to tie him down. When he turned out not to be the "good provider" she wanted, she kicked him to the curb. She still wants child support and alimony, but she's already moved a new boyfriend into her house (where my BIL's two children live). I don't know why a gold-digger like her married him in the first place: He's in his 40's and works for minimum wage (when he can keep a job). I feel sorry for my niece and nephew and the values they will learn growing up in her house. My nephew has Asberger's (sp?) syndrome, which is similar to autism. Could the TV in his bedroom on 24/7 be part of the problem? My niece has continuous medical problems. Could this be Manchusen by proxy? (I think that's when a mother actually hurts her child so she can get attention). Oh well, hindsight is 20/20.
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hipgurl I'm Asleep 1664 posts  
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 The letter-writer sure needs to change his attitude!  
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AprilWineChick  I'm Asleep 7847 posts  Mood Now: 
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Yeah, really!
He sounds awfully judgemental! 
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Oowatanite I'm Asleep 2965 posts  
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he needs to butt out and myob!
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AprilWineChick I'm Asleep 7847 posts Mood Now:
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Yeah, really!
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april_wino1  I'm Asleep 3245 posts  Mood Now: 
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What a grouch!
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pyxi_styx I'm Asleep 3982 posts   Mood Now:
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Gee, what an attitude! Peace out. 
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Peggy_Garfunkel  I'm Asleep 4510 posts  Mood Now: 
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I already despise this man, and I never even met him.
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hipgurl I'm Asleep 1664 posts
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Anyone here care to play devil's advocate?
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SarahJane I'm Asleep 1825 posts  Mood Now: 
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Not me! I find this dude to be very annoying, as well!
~ Sarah Jane
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debbey  I'm Asleep 4646 posts    Mood Now: 
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Well, Don't most parents want the very best for their children
 We all have different feelings about what's 'best I will say… his son sounds very secure… as… Cheers! 
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April_Garfunkel I'm Asleep 890 posts  Mood Now: 
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That bloke is such a bloody wanker!
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Emily_Garfunkel I'm Asleep 6565 posts  Mood Now:
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He's also a real hoser!
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tragicallyhip_babe I'm Asleep 2815 posts  
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I'll play devil's advocate. I think the father is just looking out for his son, and just wants what's best for him. Also, he maybe sees his ex-wife in Mimi - so he's worried that his son might make the same mistake he did. He's just trying to be a concerned father.
Keep Hipping! 
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TragicallyHipper  I'm Asleep 7322 posts  Mood Now: 
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Debbey and THB do have a point. However, I tend to wonder how this guy treated his ex-wife.
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retro_chica  I'm Asleep 5872 posts  Mood Now: 
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Yeah, this guy sounds like such a prick!
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