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9 people online in the last 60 minutes - 0 Canucks, 0 Canucks In Hiding and 9 Visiting Canucks. (Most ever was 233 at 09:22:13 Fri Sep 21 2007) |
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valjean I'm Asleep  299 posts   Mood Now:  
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Dear Prudie,
I am in a very iffy relationship that I think is probably not good for me, but I can't quite make the move to call it off. I guess I think maybe with time I can get his behavior to change. This man and I both work for an international company at its headquarters based in the States. I am American; he is from England. (We do not work in the same division.) We were attracted to each other almost from the get-go and soon became "a couple." Although he says he loves me and we've talked about marriage, he is whatever the opposite of "supportive" is, he undermines me, and casually says rather insulting things. Is this the English way? Don't get me wrong; there are some good times, but the meanness tells me I should get away from him. Should I? —Miss-Treated Dear Miss, Oh, how Prudie wishes you had mentioned this man's height and said he was small in stature. Then she could've told you that he sounds nasty, British, and short. But back to business. As for being offhandedly cruel, that is not the English way. (What they are actually known for is sometimes being cold or uncommunicative. Stiff upper lip and all that.) Because you write that you work in different parts of the company, we know that he's not competitive with you professionally. What he may be is misogynistic, or one of those straight guys who basically doesn't really like women. As you intuit, a man who loves a woman does not find ways to make her feel bad. As for bringing about a change in behavior, Prudie has said it before, and she'll say it again: Women are not reform schools. The guy you see is the guy you get. Without knowing what his redeeming features are, let us just say that your life will be better if you bid him cheerio. As a friend says, you will get a "flucky." (Translation: You will get off lucky.) —Prudie, finally |
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valjean I'm Asleep 299 posts Mood Now:
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We've seen letters from women on American men who like to do this same thing.
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valjean I'm Asleep 299 posts Mood Now:
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A rare follow-up note from Prudie
Note to short people: Recently, in an answer, Prudie used the phrase, "nasty, British, and short." To her amazement, many self-identified short men wrote to say they were highly offended and asked, what was wrong with me, anyway? One reader said he was revolted to read "such tripe," and many wondered why I was prejudiced against short men? Perhaps all those offended were science majors who just don't have time for literature. The pun Prudie made was based on Thomas Hobbes' 17th-century work Leviathan, wherein he wrote: " … the life of man, solitary, poor, nasty, brutish, and short." Prudie sincerely hopes all short science majors feel better now. |
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