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6 people online in the last 60 minutes - 0 Canucks, 0 Canucks In Hiding and 6 Visiting Canucks. (Most ever was 233 at 09:22:13 Fri Sep 21 2007) |
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siblygirl I'm Asleep ![]() 1000147 posts ![]() Mood Now: ![]()
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Dear Annie: Last year, a longtime friend of my mother's passed away at the age of 94. The woman had a younger sister who was a distant acquaintance of ours. This younger sister, "Ms. Periwinkle," had a stormy relationship with her older sibling, although we don't know the details.
At the wake, Ms. Periwinkle said to my mother, "I guess this is goodbye. I won't see you again." When my mother asked why, Ms. Periwinkle told her that with her sister gone, she wouldn't have a place to stay. Foolishly, my mother volunteered, "If you return, you can stay with me." Well, the lady showed up the first week of June and has been staying with Mom ever since. Ms. Periwinkle has broken untold dishes, figurines, Mom's sewing machine and more. She's a sweet lady, but she is rough on the hardware, contributes very little toward expenses, and helps herself to anything and everything. She doesn't lift a finger to clean, but she makes frequent efforts to prepare food we do not find palatable, leaving incredible messes for others to tidy up. And whenever I take my mother out to eat, Ms. Periwinkle tags along and expects me to pay for her meal. Mom doesn't want to hurt the woman's feelings, so she refuses to ask Ms. Periwinkle when she intends to leave. Any suggestions? -- El Paso, Texas Dear El Paso: You probably have an idea now why Ms. Periwinkle didn't get along with her sister. She's a freeloader. Ask your mother if she would like your help getting Ms. Periwinkle to leave. If so, inform Ms. Periwinkle that you are buying her a ticket home and the bus/train/plane leaves in one week. You also will come by to help her pack and take her to the airport. Don't take no for an answer. The cost of her ticket is a small price to pay for peace of mind and intact crockery.
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siblygirl I'm Asleep ![]() 1000147 posts ![]() Mood Now: ![]()
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Dear Annie: I am a 25-year-old teacher living in Taiwan. Recently, my godmother, "Anna," came to visit me for the second time. Her first trip ended badly with constant arguments, so this time, we set some ground rules. The first one was that she was supposed to join group tours and travel without me, since I had to work.
Anna stayed in my apartment, taking over my roommate's bedroom. I gave her a cell phone and maps. However, after three weeks, it was too much. I couldn't take her utter dependence on me. She accused me of not helping her, and the whole thing escalated. She swore at me and said I was "out of the will." I took her already-packed suitcases and threw them outside. Then I put her in a cab to the airport. I have since apologized, and she accepted. However, we are not really communicating. Before this, Anna was like a mother to me, although an overly attentive one. How do I prove to her I truly am sorry? -- Feeling Bad in Taiwan Dear Taiwan: Three weeks is too long a visit, especially for someone who is insecure about traveling alone and needs a companion. Don't dwell on this. Call or e-mail Anna with chatty news so you can re-establish a level of comfort, and in time, things will be back to normal.
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siblygirl I'm Asleep ![]() 1000147 posts ![]() Mood Now: ![]()
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Dear Annie: I am the mother of two young children. Each set of grandparents visits us three to four times a year, and they stay two weeks at a time. They pay their own way and are very generous, but they do not help clean, cook or even take out the trash. Most annoying is that they alternate spending Christmas with us, so every year without fail, we have houseguests for the entire Christmas break.
Our children would like to entertain their friends during their winter vacations. We, too, want to spend time with other families, but feel we can't invite them over when we have a house full of relatives. My husband says we cannot do anything to discourage the grandparents from visiting. I don't want to hurt anyone, but I want my space. Any suggestions? -- Fed Up in the West Dear Fed Up: Actually, it's rather nice that the grandparents alternate holidays. That means no fighting over which side gets to see you. However, two-week visits can be draining. You have time to set up a different routine this year. Make specific plans, either to go away or to have company, for one of those two weeks. Then tell the grandparents that you'll be thrilled to see them, but the visit will have to be shorter, since you are not available the rest of the time. Of course, to be fair to the other set of grandparents, you'll have to do this again next year. And the next.
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tragicallyhip_babe I'm Asleep ![]() 2815 posts ![]() ![]()
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Woah, the first one sunds really awful!
Keep Hipping!
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retro_chica I'm Asleep ![]() 5872 posts ![]() ![]() Mood Now: ![]()
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The second one is pretty sad.
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CanuckYank I'm Asleep ![]() 1930 posts ![]() ![]() ![]() Mood Now: ![]()
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Yeah, that one does break my heart!
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TragicallyHipper I'm Asleep ![]() 7322 posts ![]() ![]() Mood Now: ![]()
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Yeah, me too!
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HighwayGirl I'm Asleep ![]() 1697 posts ![]() ![]() ![]() Mood Now: ![]()
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I just hope they can reconcile, someday.
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retro_chica I'm Asleep ![]() 5872 posts ![]() ![]() Mood Now: ![]()
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I actually had tears in my eyes, when I read that second article.
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AprilWineChick I'm Asleep ![]() 7847 posts ![]() ![]() Mood Now: ![]()
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Yeah, it brought me to tears, too.
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april_wino1 I'm Asleep ![]() 3245 posts ![]() ![]() Mood Now: ![]()
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Yeah, that must feel pretty awful.
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