Rock n Rolla :: Advice Columns :: Grandma's Invasions of Privacy

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5 people online in the last 60 minutes - 0 Canucks, 0 Canucks In Hiding and 5 Visiting Canucks. (Most ever was 233 at 09:22:13 Fri Sep 21 2007)

valjean

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299 posts

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Grandma's Invasions of Privacy ( 14:59:08 MonMar 21 2005 )

Dear Amy: I am 23 and living with my dad in my grandmother's house.

My father is great -- he treats me with respect and like the adult I am. Most of all, he respects my privacy.

Grandma is another story. I pay my rent on time, plus whatever else I may owe. Then she gives me grief about my finances -- and lots of other things.

Mainly, she seems to hate the fact that I have pen pals. I enjoy writing letters, and I have pen pals scattered across the U.S. and Canada, and some overseas. It is just something I enjoy. I've been writing to most of them for more than five years.

My grandma thinks this is the stupidest thing she has ever heard. She will go on and on about it.

Four years ago I got a post office box because she was complaining about how much mail was coming into the house. Yesterday I came home, and she was reading one of my letters. It had been on my dresser in my bedroom, so she had to go in there to get it.

She's 65 years old and I don't see her changing. How can I deal with this? I'm unemployed at the moment and living off savings, but I am looking for a job in order to try and move out.

-- Kylie

Dear Kylie: I did a little research and have been pricing some security options for you and your mail. One product I saw is a small safe that has a locking mechanism that even a determined 65-year-old grandmother might find impossible to crack. It is made by a well-known manufacturer and costs less than $30.

After you tell your grandmother that you don't appreciate her ongoing invasion of your privacy, you should get yourself to an office-supply store to find a reasonably priced safe to store your documents. Let this episode be another very good reason for you to get a job and move out.

Oh, and tell your grandmother she can come in and read my mail, any day. I've got plenty to go around.

Peppergal

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516 posts

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Re: Amy 3/20 - Grandma's Invasions of Privacy ( 15:30:14 MonMar 21 2005 )

Quote:

Oh, and tell your grandmother she can come in and read my mail, any day. I've got plenty to go around.

lol

---
There are three kinds of people in the world: those who are good at math, and those who aren't.

ketzpjz

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Re: Amy 3/20 - Grandma's Invasions of Privacy ( 15:32:56 MonMar 21 2005 )

What is it with grandmas, letters and privacy today, Amy? One sends kids' photos to her jailbird sons and the other just dives into the mail. Must be something in the water of Amy-writer-relatives!

valjean

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299 posts

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Re: F/Up 4/5 Amy 3/20 - Grandma's Invasions of Privacy ( 12:24:49 TueApr 5 2005 )

Dear Amy: The letter from a young woman whose grandmother was sneaking into her room to read her "pen pal" letters made me think that you might have missed something.

Is it possible that "Granny" is lonely, isolated and bored? And perhaps even jealous (however subconsciously) of the letter writer and her connections to the world?

Maybe the granddaughter could share some of the letters with her Grandma and see if that results in less-negative squawking from her.

-- A Writer in Portland, Ore.

Dear Portland: Several readers urged me to consider this point of view, and I thank you all.

valjean

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299 posts

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Re: F/Up 4/5 Amy 3/20 - Grandma's Invasions of Privacy ( 14:06:15 TueApr 5 2005 )

well that characterization of grandma is a far cry from the person depicted in the letter, imo

ketzpjz

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Re: F/Up 4/5 Amy 3/20 - Grandma's Invasions of Privacy ( 15:34:50 TueApr 5 2005 )

Quote: valjean at 14:06:15 Tue Apr 5 2005

well that characterization of grandma is a far cry from the person depicted in the letter, imo

I agree- and I wish Amy had said something like 'it's possible she's lonely but from how her granddaughter wrote about her, it seems quite likely she's a jerk and busybody for no good reason!'

CanuckYank

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1930 posts