Rock n Rolla :: Advice Columns :: Catch-All Topic ~ Problems With Bullys

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siblygirl

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Catch-All Topic ~ Problems With Bullys ( 12:35:08 WedMay 12 2004 )

DEAR ABBY: I am a girl in the fourth grade, and there are some mean people in my class. They're always making fun of this girl from China.

When I see them teasing her, I want to be nice to her -- but I'm afraid if I am nice to her, they will make fun of me.

I am one of the cool kids. Abby, please tell me if I should be her friend. -- TRYING TO BE NICE IN PENNSYLVANIA

DEAR TRYING: You are an intelligent, compassionate girl. The time to be a friend is when somebody needs one, and your classmate certainly needs one now. One effective way to defuse this kind of harassment is to speak up and say that YOU don't think what the bully is saying is funny.

Another way is to tell your parents, your teacher and the principal what is happening. That girl is being harassed because of her race -- and it is against the law for it to be ignored. So don't wait. Speak up now. I commend you for writing.

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Since I've Been Loving You I'm About To Lose My Worried Mind

siblygirl

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Bullying the depressed boy ( 12:35:52 WedMay 12 2004 )

DEAR ABBY: My 10-year-old son is extremely sensitive. The kids in his class know it and love to pick on him. I've talked to his teacher, but she can't seem to catch them in the act.

I don't know what else to do. He is becoming depressed and eating less and less. I'm worried about him, but I don't know what to tell him to make him feel better. How can I help him? -- CARING MOTHER IN GEORGIA

DEAR MOTHER: Get your son involved in outside activities and give him a chance to cultivate new friends who haven't been influenced by his classmates. This will also give him a chance to excel at something that interests him. Being bullied is something that can affect a person's self-image for many years. Some sessions with a counselor to help him build self-esteem may also be in order.

P.S. Most important, notify the school principal, who can and should implement a "zero tolerance" policy toward bullying.

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Since I've Been Loving You I'm About To Lose My Worried Mind

siblygirl

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Bully Traumas ( 21:41:04 WedMay 12 2004 )

Dear Annie: My school life is horrible. Don't get me wrong. I have a great family and terrific friends, I'm on a fun volleyball team and in the school musical, but some of the kids in school make me want to die.

I pretend that I don't hear the comments and insults people say behind my back, or the times someone will shove me into my locker while I'm trying to get my books. I don't dare tell an administrator, because I'm scared of what these kids might do if they knew I tried to get them into trouble.

I usually bottle it all up inside of me, but lately it's gotten to be more than I can handle. Please help me. I'm afraid that if things don't get better soon, I'll do something to myself that I'll regret. -- Scared and Fed Up Student

Dear Scared: Bullies tend to pick on kids they believe will not stand up for themselves. You need to report these kids to the principal, the school guidance counselor or to a sympathetic teacher. Don't do it alone. Talk to your parents first and enlist their assistance. Let your friends know what you are doing and ask them to stand by you, for emotional as well as physical support.

Consider ways to combat the bullies by ignoring them or defusing their nastiness through humor and a more confident attitude. You also can check out some useful tips at kidshealth.org and safechild.org.

You sound like you have a lot going for you. Don't let these immature bullies take control of your life.

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Since I've Been Loving You I'm About To Lose My Worried Mind

LedZeppelinHarmony

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Re: Bullying the depressed boy ( 03:05:45 SunJul 11 2004 )

Quote: retro_chica at 20:21:23 Wed May 12 2004

CARING MOTHER IN GEORGIA: This mother should should try to get her son some help on learning how to deal with bullies. It's sad that too many kids can be so cruel. But maybe she could try to find him some kids who will be nice to him - and are maybe even, perhaps, in need of friends himself.

Quote: AprilWineChick at 02:29:30 Thu May 13 2004

CARING MOTHER IN GEORGIA: A good solution should be maybe trying to get a club together for misfits and decent people to bond together. I'll explain more about this in another thread.

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LedZeppelinHarmony

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Re: Bullying the China Girl ( 03:07:15 SunJul 11 2004 )

Quote: retro_chica at 20:21:23 Wed May 12 2004

TRYING TO BE NICE IN PENNSYLVANIA: This girl should just follow her instincts and befriend this girl from China. After all, somebody has got to be her friend, right?

Quote: AprilWineChick at 02:29:30 Thu May 13 2004

TRYING TO BE NICE IN PENNSYLVANIA: She should not worry about her coolness so much. Just go ahead and be friends with this girl.

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paulgro

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Re: Bullying the China Girl ( 06:23:51 SunJul 11 2004 )

I agree she should make friends with the girl but at 9 years old which a 4th grader would be that can be a tough choice going against her class mates�:weights:

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paulgro

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Re: Bullying the depressed boy ( 06:32:27 SunJul 11 2004 )

After reading about the club that wouldn't be a bad idea. Bullies only bully people that doesn't have anyone standing behind them�:weights:

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"I have not failed, just found 10,000 ways that won't work"

silver_linings

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Re: Bullying the depressed boy ( 15:27:41 SunJul 11 2004 )

That's a good idea, AprilWineChick!! :ufo:

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silver_linings

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Re: Bullying the China Girl ( 15:29:55 SunJul 11 2004 )

Well, I guess - but she should still put the feelings of others first. :ufo:

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silver_linings

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Re: Bully Traumas ( 16:14:15 SunJul 11 2004 )

As I've said in another, I think bullying should be considered a crime - and fall under harassment.

:ufo:

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Dr_Pimple

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Re: Bully Traumas ( 18:32:57 WedJul 14 2004 )

Dr. Pimple proposes that all bullies should be sentenced to spending 20 years as a talking cat.

~ Dr. Pimple

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The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four people are suffering from some form of mental illness. Think of your three best friends. If they're okay, then it's you.

Peggy_Garfunkel