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5 people online in the last 60 minutes - 0 Canucks, 0 Canucks In Hiding and 5 Visiting Canucks. (Most ever was 233 at 09:22:13 Fri Sep 21 2007) |
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siblygirl  I'm Asleep  1000147 posts  Mood Now:  
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Dear Abby: My fiance has requested that I stop opening doors for her after I asked her to acknowledge my courtesy with a "thank-you." This simple request turned into a huge argument after she told me I should not open doors for her anymore.
Abby, I was brought up to be a gentleman and to treat women like ladies. Am I wrong for wanting to be appreciated for doing this, or should I stop being so darn sensitive and forget about opening doors for her, which goes against who I am? -- Closing This Door In Honolulu Dear Closing: You are not "wrong" to want your courtesy to be acknowledged. Before you tie the knot, please consider carefully that this woman will be raising your children. Is someone with her attitude the kind of person with whom you want to spend the rest of your life?
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TragicallyHipFan I'm Asleep 403 posts  
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well, let's just say that i can see both sides of the coin. :scatter: it could very well be possible that the door-holding has become so routine - that the fiance felt that it was unnecessary to say 'thank you' every single time. anyway, i'm not really on anybody's side here. i do think that the letter-writer was being a little too sensitive - but i also think that the fiance's reaction was a little over the top. anyway, i do think that they both need to relax a bit.
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tragicallyhip_babe I'm Asleep 2815 posts   
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Well, some people really do resent being reprimended by their equals. I wonder he approached the issue, though.
Keep Hipping! 
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SarahJane I'm Asleep 1825 posts  Mood Now: 
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Yeah, that could most certainly make all the difference, THB!
~ Sarah Jane
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tragicallyhip_babe I'm Asleep 2815 posts
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Well, did he bring it up politely - or was he grouchy about it? If it's the latter, then it would be understandable? If it's the former, though - then I do agree with Abby!
Keep Hipping!
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hilbury  I'm Asleep 25 posts  Mood Now: 
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I think he is way over sensitive… if you are a gentleman you don't open doors because you want to be thanked… you open doors so that the lady can pass through unhindered, I think you do it out of respect and love not looking for a pat on the back.
My husband holds doors open for me all the time and I return the favour if I get there first. It's polite to say thanks but I don't always and I don't expect it in return. Couples just do stuff for each other……
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TragicallyHipper  I'm Asleep 7322 posts  Mood Now: 
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I totally agree with you, Hilbury! I also totally disagree with the advice that Abby gave! He's the one who needs to grow up - and I really don't blame his fiance for getting upset with him.
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Holly_Green I'm Asleep 1246 posts  Mood Now: 
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It does sound like a case of making a mountain out of a molehill.
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TragicallyHipper I'm Asleep 7322 posts Mood Now:
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Who? The letter-writer or the fiance?
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retro_chica  I'm Asleep 5872 posts  Mood Now: 
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You know, if I was his fiance, I have have gotten a bit peeved, as well! Why? Well, because he's being petty and expecting to be thanked for ever little thing he does! I open doors for my friends and family all the time - and I don't expect them to say 'thank you' everytime! With strangers, it would be different - but with family and friends, it's pretty much a given that the first person to reach the door would open it for the others. Especially if they're right with you! At any rate, this guy does need to grow up! 
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Canada rules!|
CanuckYank I'm Asleep 1930 posts   Mood Now:
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It does sound like the letter-writer expects a pat on the back for everything he does.
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pyxi_styx I'm Asleep 3982 posts   Mood Now: 
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He does need to get over himself!
Peace out. 
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retro_chica I'm Asleep 5872 posts Mood Now:
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Whoever reaches the door first is the one to open it. It's pretty much a given.
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debbey  I'm Asleep 4646 posts    Mood Now: 
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 You 'guys' are so funny... This is sort of goes with a thank you thread in Miss Manners I think  I think the letter writer sounds like a really sweet man.. If my significant other were to open my car door... it doesn't matter... how often... I would definitely say thanks and smile too that's also, a good opportunity to slip in a kiss..  C'mon you 'guys' start thinking love.... not soooooo... bossy independent.. I guess, I have been alone so long and drive myself everywhere I have forgotten what it is like.. I suppose if you are in the middle of a disagreement with your significant other then.... maybe a look like still... I think I would utter a small thanks.. it's just the way I am... Cheers! 
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HighwayGirl  I'm Asleep 1697 posts   Mood Now: 
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It is a little sexist to act like one gender always has to be the one to open the door. I think whoever gets to the door first should be the first to open it, regardless of gender. I agree that strangers should say 'thank you' for holding the door open for then. When they're right with you, a 'thank you' would be nice, but not necessary. I think both the letterwriter and his fiance were being a bit too sensitive. It's not something worth getting into a huge fight over, if you know what I mean.
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jessiebabe I'm Asleep 1605 posts  
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Well, this man may be a little sensitive ~ but I agree that his fiance's reaction was a bit over the top. I guess there is the question of how did he address the issue. We need more details, before we can make any judgements here.
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Holly_Green I'm Asleep 1246 posts Mood Now:
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I really think they both should have been calmer about the issue.
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