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people online in the last 60 minutes - 0 members, 0 anon and 0 guests. (Most ever was 187 at 11:29:16 Fri Mar 5 2021) |
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Parellax 02:45:39 Fri Dec 16 2016 Offline posts Reply |
Baaahahahaha!!! Good one! I have a similar story for another day.
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DUBB  14:16:50 Sun Dec 11 2016 Offline 1399 posts BBMG MASTER BLASTER +1000 Reply |
Allright, last one...
So I have one more time I indirectly made an old cop hurt himself laughing, sort of. I was riding with my "brother from another mother", the same one from the first story, and we went to this party. Now I have no idea who's house it was, but in a small place like Pahoa, Hawaii, there really isn't shit to do, or anywhere to go, so when someone has a party, word gets around pretty quick, and everyone comes. And we were single, so we had to make an appearance, and see if we could hook up, you know? And there I was dancing with this really cute girl, and loving it, but wait. Let me fast foreward a few minutes, when it all went sideways, and somehow my wingman picked up my vibe, and we agreed, it was time to leave. So we are getting in the car, when all of a sudden, the cops show up. And they ALL came, and all at once, and parked in such a way to block off any escape by car, we were trapped. So I go to talk to them, and thier pack alfa leader comes up, and I decide to take a shot, and make him an offer, although I am entirely usure if he's going to believe what I have to offer, or not, but I'll give it a shot. So I tell him, "we were just leaving, and if you let us bail, and miss out on whatever you have planned to do here, I know where there is GUN you can recover". This gets him all exited, they like finding guns, but will he believe me? Well only one way to find out. "Allright, you see that tall black kid with the basketball jersy on with the number #, see how he's running in circles freaking out? Well, that's what he is looking for. So I was dancing with this really cute girl, right next to that asshole, and the girl he was dancing with, there on the front porch, when all of a sudden, a goddamn GUN fell out of him! And I don't know how I knew, but it was like everything slowed way down and stetched this mo [ Continued ] View Rest Of Post
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Parellax 22:16:31 Fri Dec 2 2016 Offline posts Reply |
Baaahahahaha!!!!! Never heard that one. Excellent delivery!
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DUBB 11:04:33 Fri Dec 2 2016 Offline 1399 posts BBMG MASTER BLASTER +1000 Reply |
I have another one. I ran into the punk ass cop who assaulted me, the one that ruined my life, since the prosecutor was willing to extort me under death threat to protect, so he could get away with that scot free, with 2 of his senior officers, who weren't there that night. And he challenged me as I walked by, and he recognized me, with "bullshit, you don't know how." "Sure I do, but like I said, I'm never telling you, of all people." "That's because you don't know how", he said again. "Sure I do, you really want to know how?", I said. "Yeah, how?" So I clocked the fucker, knocked him out cold, and left him sleeping on the ground, right there in front of the other two cops. And I laughed my ass off! When I looked at the other two, they had this look of shock and horror, like dafuq did I just see you do? So, still laughing, I tell those two, "I know that looked like an assault on your junior officer", who, although he'd been there for some years, was still the newest cop there, and as far as the rest were concerned, until someone retires and they got a new one, still "the rookie", so I can pull this off. "But you don't know the back story, of this punk got behind me, and punched me in the back of the head thinking that he could knock me out like I just did to him. So I told him that there is only one way to do that, and you kind of have to be standing face to face, like a man, and behind them like a little bitch." Then I wispered, "it's that uppercut". So that was a demonstration, because he asked for it, and besides, I got him good, he never knew what hit him." The still looked confused. "So when he comes to, he'll know THAT I did it to him, but he STILL won't know HOW, as long as you guys didn't see it. So now you have to ask yourselves, where is the fun for YOU in all of this?" That did it, now all 3 of them are on the ground, one sleeping, and two in pain, holding their now injured sides, rolling around laughing uncontrollably. And I went home.
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camracer  14:12:37 Tue Nov 29 2016 Offline 3515 posts BBMG LIFE BLASTER +2000  Reply |
A great retelling of your classic story DUBB!
Thanks for the laugh out loud once again!! ---Cam
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DUBB 04:14:55 Sat Nov 26 2016 Offline 1399 posts BBMG MASTER BLASTER +1000 Reply |
This is an old story of mine, one of my best though, that I thought I should take the time and write down, finally. And since you guys like a good laugh as much as anyone, here it is, for what it's worth. WARNING, if you don't have a sense of humor, this one could cause you injury, it has before, don't hurt yourself laughing. Cops don't usually have much of a sense of humor, but I have found that there are two subjects that cops think are funny, at least to them, and they are stupid criminals, and hazing the rookies. I don't know why, but that's what they laugh at.
The "funny parking ticket story" So this is the story of the funniest parking ticket ever, another example of when telling a COP the TRUTH can be extremely HARMFUL to them, I don't know what it is, but sometimes cops get really fucked up when I tell them the truth, it changes them permanently. This is one of those times. So me and my brother in arms were cruising through town, one weekend, and let me add that "town" is just the closest thing to where we lived, a gas station, a store, the post office, and a laundrymat, and that was about it, as opposed to "the city" which was another 30 miles down the highway from where we lived. AND, I need to add in that from there, the place we were living was out in the world's third larges private subdivision, 10,000, 3 acre parcels, all connected by the worst "unimproved" roads in the wold, they sent the D9 through to scrape down to the bedrock, and put a layer of gravel on it 20 or 30 years before, and nothing but 150 inches of rain ever since. We were 10 miles or so back in the back, it took over an hour to crawl down those roads, and otherwise, "town" was just 200 yards of paved, public road farther. We really liked our privacy. Out there, there was no power, or water (water catchment, with 150 inches of rain a year, you don't worry about w [ Continued ] View Rest Of Post
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