"Out beyond ideas of right-doing and wrong-doing there is a field. I'll meet you there." ----- Jalal ad-Din Muhammad Balkhi-Rumi, 13th century Sufi poet.

"Have faith that people do their best. I don't know anyone who would eat with pigs out of a trough in a muddy barnyard if he knew that a well-prepared meal was on the table in a clean house - do you?" Greg Baer

"The Secret in healing Narcissism is not to heal it at all, but to listen to it. Narcissism is a signal that the soul is not being loved sufficiently. The greater the Narcissism, the less love being given." ~ Thomas Moore, 'Care of the Soul'.

Q. Is it really possible to heal NPD?

A. Anything is possible. You do not have to be a negative statistic on a probablity curve of people with Narcissistic Personality Disorder

Heal NPD :: Open Topic :: 1,000 positive stepping stones on the path to healing
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free_of_fem
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Re: 1,000 positive stepping stones on the path to healing ( 11:38:47 SatDec 13 2003 )

I sent my ex a copy of Stephen Johnson's book for Christmas. The last present I gave him was a copy of Sam Vaknin's book. I believe this shows a very postive change in my direction.

  
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hestia
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Re: 1,000 positive stepping stones on the path to healing ( 13:23:18 SatDec 13 2003 )

Happy Saturday. Today I am having a birthday party for my son. He asked if daddy would be there, and I said yes, and then he asked if mommy would be there too. I said of course! It was heartbreaking, yet awesome that he can already do so well telling me what he wants. Anyway, talk about getting in touch with your inner child! After sprucing up the house a little bit (ok, so actually just hiding the clutter!) I get to decorate the kitchen, bake a cake, make party favor bags for our little guests, and then spend the afternoon with a bunch of kids. It will be exhausting, but really fun.

  
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Balbrenny
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Re: 1,000 positive stepping stones on the path to healing ( 14:19:50 SatDec 13 2003 )

Great to hear all the 'success stories'!!

My eldest son has his best friend staying over tonight. Interestingly for a 15 year old, his best friend is a girl - no romantic involvement at all. But I enjoy seeing them together as my son allows himself to relax with her in a way that I do not see him do with his male friends. With them he shows off in various ways but with this girl he shows a compassionate, caring side. It warms my heart to see this.

  
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taransmith
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Re: 1,000 positive stepping stones on the path to healing ( 20:20:05 SatDec 13 2003 )

The hugs are continuing each morning even if right now relationships and intimacy are such a mystery to me. Who knows maybe one day I'll figurre this out, but I guess its good I'm still willing to try.

  
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Having_a_Life
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Re: 1,000 positive stepping stones on the path to healing ( 01:14:15 SunDec 14 2003 )

I went to see my hair dresser today. My daughter had been in to see her while she was in town. I found out that she looked wonderful and was beaming from ear to ear about going to Germany. I'm so delighted!

My hair dresser asked her if she'd called her mother (me!) yet. Daughter, smiled and shook her head. Hairdresser told her that she's doing wonderful adult things with her life ... that she needs to grow some more and call me. Daughter agreed to ... sometime in the future.

I'm certain that Daughter visited Hairdresser knowing it would get back to me. IIt sounds like Daughter will be ressurecting me before she's 30.

It was all music to my ears.

Cheers!
Life

  
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hestia
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Re: 1,000 positive stepping stones on the path to healing ( 01:16:35 SunDec 14 2003 )

Ok, I was right, it was exhausting. But my little guy had such a good time. When folks arrived, they lingered in the front hall, so I invited them to the kitchen for snacks. They were busy talking an no one heard me. So my little guy marched into the middle of the adults, looked up, and said really loudly, "Hey. Hey everybody. Let's go in kitchen for snacks. Come on." When we sat to eat, I sat down next to him, and he said, "Everybody. Hey everybody. This is my mom." Then he introduced me by name. It felt so great! Things were probably a little dull for the grown ups, and I started to stress, then thought, Hey, wait a minute, this isn't about us, it's about them, and I looked down, and the boys were all playing with matchbox cars, having a blast. FInally, when everyone left, I told him, "You were so excited about the party, you forgot to give me a hug and a kiss when you came in. So you have to be punished with tickles." He giggled and laughed like crazy, and when I stopped tickling him, he stood up, smiled, and came over and gave me a hug and a kiss. I know this is probably too long, but geesh, for me, it just doesn't get any better.

  
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Balbrenny
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Re: 1,000 positive stepping stones on the path to healing ( 05:07:55 SunDec 14 2003 )

Sounds like a great party, Hestia - kids parties are tiring but so much fun!!

Great news, Life - it sounds like your daughter may be wishing for some news of you and news to get back to you.

Taran, glad to hear about the hugs.

This morning my 15 year old brought me a cuppa in bed and lay beside me for a few seconds - things are improving!

  
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hestia
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Re: 1,000 positive stepping stones on the path to healing ( 15:08:46 SunDec 14 2003 )

Life, I am so happy for you! I think your instincts are right.
Taran, good work with the hugs!
Balbrenny, hurrah!

I am still exhausted. My positives are having the house to myself today, listening to Christmas jazz and eating birthday cake for breakfast. It feels good.

  
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jimmie
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Re: 1,000 positive stepping stones on the path to healing ( 16:00:43 SunDec 14 2003 )

The birthday party sounds like a lot of fun Hestia. The most positive thing I can so far this weekend is that I managed to keep my cool in downtown Miami traffic which seemed worse than is normal even for the holiday season. I felt the anger building because I had no control over the insanity but get this I was listening to a tape of Rumi poetry and that helped keep me calm.

  
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Balbrenny
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Re: 1,000 positive stepping stones on the path to healing ( 15:30:35 MonDec 15 2003 )

My eldest son got beaten up last week and had to have 7 stitches in his face. He got them out today and the scars are not too noticeable - he has hypertrohic (red, raised) scarring from accidents in the past and it will be a few weeks before we know whether he will need further treatment but right now it's looking hopeful!

  
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