"Out beyond ideas of right-doing and wrong-doing there is a field. I'll meet you there." ----- Jalal ad-Din Muhammad Balkhi-Rumi, 13th century Sufi poet.

"Have faith that people do their best. I don't know anyone who would eat with pigs out of a trough in a muddy barnyard if he knew that a well-prepared meal was on the table in a clean house - do you?" Greg Baer

"The Secret in healing Narcissism is not to heal it at all, but to listen to it. Narcissism is a signal that the soul is not being loved sufficiently. The greater the Narcissism, the less love being given." ~ Thomas Moore, 'Care of the Soul'.

Q. Is it really possible to heal NPD?

A. Anything is possible. You do not have to be a negative statistic on a probablity curve of people with Narcissistic Personality Disorder

Heal NPD :: Open Topic :: 1,000 positive stepping stones on the path to healing
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taransmith
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Re: 1,000 positive stepping stones on the path to healing ( 18:39:07 TueDec 30 2003 )

First thing this morning my former friend called and said she wanted to talk about us. I said no. I'm not interested in getting back on the merry-go-round. I could tell she was surprised by my answer. Whatever, I don't think I should feel bad because I was looking out for myself. It might have saved us both more trouble.

  
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Dracula
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Re: 1,000 positive stepping stones on the path to healing ( 20:52:13 TueDec 30 2003 )

Hi all, its been a while, very, very long story. :ohwell: I need to talk about that eventually, but I need to get my feet under me and rest for a day or so first. The good news is my various family members actually had a reasonably good holiday without any serious problems. I'm looking forward to the new year. It feels like a new start and that always appeals to me. I'll just browse around for a while and see what I've missed. I'm guessing things have been slow through the holidays, but life is about to start again. yea!

  
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Balbrenny
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Re: 1,000 positive stepping stones on the path to healing ( 01:24:44 WedDec 31 2003 )

Welcome back, Drac

Today is the last day of the old year and time to look back on what has happened. I can see the most amazing changes in my eldest son - last year he spent midnight sitting in one room refusing to talk to me or his brother or join in anything. He was not going to school, was lighting fires, making small bombs, being destructive and abusive. He was living with his father at the time (he spent about 6 months with him, when my ex first left.)

One year later and he is going to school, has started treatment and is no longer destructive or abusive. He no longer sees his father but seems to be getting on OK without him. He shows some concern for others. Right now he and his friends are setting up the garage for their party tonight. I am having my friends in the house. He seems relaxed and happy despite all the other stuff that is going on with a local boy who is harassing him.

I am looking forward to more positives in the New Year.

I hope everybody has a great time over this period.

  
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hestia
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Re: 1,000 positive stepping stones on the path to healing ( 02:46:22 WedDec 31 2003 )

Well, I did awesome work in marriage counseling today at just sitting and hearing my husband. I started to feel defensive and thought, "What can I do to just be present?" So I slipped my shoes off and shifted around on the couch so I was facing him instead of the therapist. I was non-judgmental and unconditional, and that helped me learn a lot. I just keep practicing, learning, and growing. Guess that's what life is, huh?

  
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TcBrown
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Re: 1,000 positive stepping stones on the path to healing ( 11:52:59 WedDec 31 2003 )

Congratulations to your son and yourself, Balbrenny. It sounds as though you've made some remarkable progress over the past year. I hope it continues in 2004 :biggrin:

Hestia, the kind of presence you're talking about is so powerful. I'm glad you had a chance to experience it. Maybe one day your husband will know this feeling.

I'm feeling good about life because I was able to partner with my Father on a project which I think will be beneficial to both of us. I wasn't even going to suggest it to him at first but our visit last week was successful enough that I decided to at least mention it and see what he says. Much to my surprise he agreed to do it and it seems to be working. My goal is stay focused on what's in the room here and now and that's a serious challenge because there is still ALOT of sh-t looming the background. That's a matter for another day. Perhaps if this project is successful we'll be able to face some of the issues from our past. :cookiemonster:




---
You do not need to be loved, not at the cost of yourself. The single relationship that is truly central and crucial in a life is the relationship to the self . .. Of all the people you will know in a lifetime , you are the only one you will never lose.

~ Jo Courdt

 
 
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melaniemac
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Re: 1,000 positive stepping stones on the path to healing ( 14:49:09 WedDec 31 2003 )

Well, here I am again and still happy to be alive. It is New Year's Eve and I am spending the evening at home with my two favorite men (my boys!). Not long ago I would have been upset because I should be out partying and "having fun". Well, we are going to have fun, and it is not going to involve a hangover!

I grow stronger every day and I feel at the ripe old age of.... Well, not going to tell you that, but I feel like I am finally starting to grow up a little more. I seem to be able to control my emotions a little better, and I don't feel the need to control every situation I'm in. All of this is a work in progress, but I can actually FEEL that things are starting to change. And it feels good.

I hope everyone continues down this path of healing we have chosen and has a prosperous, joyous and peaceful New Year.

Mel

  
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Dracula
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Re: 1,000 positive stepping stones on the path to healing ( 15:57:00 WedDec 31 2003 )

Happy new year, all. I feel I made a lot of improvement this past year in dealing with my NPD and this community has been a big part of why. Like Mel said its a work in progress. The best thing is I'm starting to at least be interested in intimate relationships. I guess its true there is a first time for everything. 2004 may be a very interesting year.

  
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taransmith
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Re: 1,000 positive stepping stones on the path to healing ( 18:26:13 WedDec 31 2003 )

Nothing like a nice hug to end the year with. The weather is gloomy here today so I've decided to make my positive be a day of taking care of my inner kid. I'm doing this by re-reading the last Harry Potter book. What can I say I want to enroll at Hogwarts. :claphands:

  
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Rubio

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Re: 1,000 positive stepping stones on the path to healing ( 20:39:11 WedDec 31 2003 )

Just wanted to wish everyone here the happiest of New Years.And to thank all of you for the support you gave me. I still come here and read almost every post. you guys blow me away. Everything is going ok. Thank you, Thank you.

Happy New Years


Rubio

  
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Re: 1,000 positive stepping stones on the path to healing ( 22:43:27 WedDec 31 2003 )

Great to hear from you, Rubio, and everyone else too. It's hard to believe 2003 is coming to a close. I had wanted everything to be neat and tidy for me by the end of the year, and I think (I hope!) it's a positive that I'm listening to my therapist and marriage counselor and hanging in there with the ambiguity for awhile. Thanks to everyone in this community for helping me through this crisis-- and may 2004 bring greater healing to us all. Hes

  
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